The Rise of Hyper-Planners

5 minute read

Hyper-Planners had hair appointments booked within moments of the Taoiseach’s announcement, have an excel spreadsheet for their grooming appointments, and have multiple staycations booked for June and onwards. You probably have at least one hyper-planner in your life and their efficiency might be making you anxious….

Chatting to a friend the weekend before restrictions were lifted sent me into a panic. She had secured a four-hour hair appointment, had a mani-pedi booked, was waiting to hear back from her waxing salon, and was on a cancellation list for Botox. The cancellation list was freaking her out. Apparently, she had been phoning regularly for updates and had been asked to stop, they would be in touch when they were open for appointments. She could have gone elsewhere, she told me, there was a place closer to her house that had stayed open, but she didn’t think that was ‘in the spirit of lockdown’ so didn’t want to give them her business. When her doctor phoned with an appointment it wasn’t until late June. Horrified, she demanded to go on the cancellation list. She paused for breath. Well? What about you? Me? I was freaking out a little bit. I had left a message on the answering machine of my hair salon and when I didn’t hear back, I didn’t do anything about it. They’re busy, I thought, they’ll get to me. I had considered a pedicure, but the weather is still bad and I’ve nowhere to be going, it could wait.

Another friend has multiple holidays booked around the country from June onwards. A hotel break with her husband, a self-catering family break for a week by the sea, and a girls’ weekend in an Airbnb in Galway. She has another long weekend booked off work at the end of September when she’s hoping to be vaccinated and allowed to fly to Rome for a rescheduled wedding anniversary romantic break. If she can’t fly by then she has a shortlist of five-star hotels in Ireland that she’ll go to instead. And I know she’s not alone, there are women up and down the country with a family calendar up on the wall full of appointments, holidays, and activities.

There have always been planners in life. I used to be one.

On the annual trip my husband and I took with another couple I would create The Itinerary. It was a folder with everything we’d need for our break, a daily schedule, a record of all our restaurant bookings and a list of cafes and bars for each location we’d be in. One year I even scheduled in naps. But a couple of years ago I changed. I realised that a general plan was better than a rigid one. Holidays with suggestions of activities and bookings for only a few sought-after restaurants was better than three meals a day booked in with no option to change.

I’m not sure exactly when I realised this, but it did come hot on the heels of a few years where all my personal and professional plans fell apart. Things weren’t worse for it, just different, and that was okay too. Also less rigidly planned long weekends with friends left more room for day drinking and shenanigans which were an often much-needed distraction from what was happening in my life.

This year the pandemic has turned life’s natural organisers into Hyper Planners. Some of this is completely understandable. When we’re faced with a situation that we don’t know how to deal with, can’t control, and worries us, things can build up fast.

There is a popular model of mental processing called Cognitive Load Theory which says that our brains are only capable of processing a limited amount of information at any one time. If something happens, like say a global pandemic, that means that it’s difficult to accomplish things and we can end up carrying more than we’re able for in our minds. All these events that never happen and things that never get done end up piled on top of each other. This can quickly become overwhelming, but something like postponing can be a gift to your brain. You’re basically giving yourself permission to stop worrying about the event that didn’t happen and you’re rescheduling both it and your anxiety about it.

But this isn’t enough for some people and the lack of certainty over the last year has instead turned them into hyper planners trying to control even the uncontrollable. This can lead to more anxiety as even the best-laid plans get cancelled or changed at the last minute.

Always planning and focussing on the next thing can mean that what’s happening right now is sometimes missed. The holiday you’re on can be eclipsed by thoughts of the next trip you’ve booked. You can spend that much-needed night out with friends planning the weekend away you’ll all have together. Dinner with your partner is spent rescheduling flights.

Excessive planning leaves no room for spontaneity or flexibility and being relied upon to be ‘the planner’, every group has one, can lead you into the tyranny of perfection where you feel responsible for everyone’s great trip or night out.

There is a fine line between being organised and being obsessed and it’s very easy to cross it. It’s no way to enjoy a holiday or a life.

It’s true that we all have to become a bit more focused on planning in a world that now needs reservations and bookings for even the most basic tasks but within that detail, there is still room for fun and for sharing the load. If you’re a natural planner, try to remember that not everything must fall on your shoulders.

I have realised however that there is a happy medium to be found between over planning and being a recluse and so you’ll be glad to know that I had my hair done on Wednesday. I realised that I wasn’t being relaxed about scheduling appointments as much as I had forgotten what it was like to be groomed and interested in my appearance. Still no pedicure booked, but look, it’s a start.

Jennifer Stevens, May 2021