Love What You Do (Or Not)
5 minute read
We’ve all heard that old adage ‘love what you do, and you’ll never work a day in your life’. Sounds ideal. Get your dream job, skip to the office (or your kitchen table) every day, put in eight, nine, twelve hours and feel fulfilled at all times.
But is that realistic or even possible for a large percentage of people? Social media is full of posts about following your dreams, quitting the job you hate to do what you love, or building up that side hustle to the point where it becomes your main hustle or something equally incoherent. But what is that message doing for people who are trying their best to get by and working really hard in a job they tolerate because it provides for their family, or pays the rent? Or what about the people who climbed the corporate ladder and are now the main earner in their home, so they can’t quit without causing enormous upheaval even though they always dreamt of being a florist?
Should the real message be to work hard, get through the day, and go home because there’s more to life than work? Slightly trickier to put in a nice font for Instagram!
Ciara Spillane is a careers expert with 20 years experience in recruitment, hiring for firms like Google and Microsoft, who now runs her own career coaching consultancy www.positiveprospects.ie She agrees that the dream job messaging is off.
“In order for people to flourish or be happy in life, it’s important that they have a sense of meaning and purpose. There is a message out there that we need to find this from our career, however, this isn’t always realistic. It also gives power to corporations as the more we find our sense of accomplishment and meaning from our jobs, the harder we work!
“It’s important to understand your ‘why’, i.e. what gives you purpose. Our purpose can come from lots of different things and can change at different stages in our life.
“I was in my dream job; I worked in a company I admired, I got paid well, had great benefits and I was doing work that I really enjoyed. After I returned to work from my second maternity leave things changed, I was no longer happy at work, I was really struggling mentally and could not understand why. Eventually I realised that my priorities had changed and that my job was keeping me from spending time with my family. I left my job and took a role where I was paid far less, but I worked fewer hours and was able to spend more time with my kids. The work was not as rewarding but I was far happier.
“Once you understand what is important to you then it’s easier to stay in a role where it may not be your ideal job, but it allows you to pursue what is important whether that be travel, studying or maybe saving for your dream home.
“I think the pandemic has caused a shift in people’s thinking too. Prior to the pandemic we created our lives around our jobs, when we had a chance to slow down people started asking themselves what was really important to them, and some realised that having the dream job was not the most important thing and that they now want to arrange their jobs to fit in with their lives.
“Of course, if you hate your job, or are not valued or treated fairly, then you should never stay, there are always other options out there. However, you shouldn’t feel like you have failed because you are not pursuing your dream either.”
Creating our lives around our jobs was something many of us were guilty of, giving work priority over everything else which often led to feelings of resentment. We’re constantly being fed articles and posts about women who quit it all to become an artist or to travel the world with their husband and young family.
Well, I would like to know about the woman who put in 30 strong years in accountancy because it meant she never worked weekends and could go to every one of her kids’ sports things. Or the woman who climbed the corporate sales ladder in a company she thought was ‘grand’ because she got five weeks holidays every year and spent all of them travelling to amazing destinations.
They are the heroes, out there putting in the hours in jobs that are fine, in order to live their real lives outside of work.
If you’re bored or feeling stuck it can help to remember that work is not your real life. There can be more. If the money is good, or the hours are flexible or it’s just too hard to move that’s fine. Not everyone can pursue their dreams and that’s ok.
Corporations love you to think that professional fulfilment is life fulfilment, it’s how the gender pay gap started in the first place. They could pay women less because they should just be grateful to be there getting a sense of accomplishment outside of the home. All the benefits that huge corporations provide, like amazing catering, relaxation pods, in-house massage therapists are in theory there for your good but actually just mean that you stay at work for longer.
If you truly hate your job, then definitely try and find a new one. But if it’s fine and it’s providing the things you need to live a life outside work like a mortgage payment or good paid holidays then don’t feel bad that you’re not the ballet dancer that 12-year-old you hoped you would be.
Remember, work is not your real life, or your whole life. It just pays for it.
Jennifer Stevens, January 2022
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