Being Pro-Ageing in an Anti-Ageing World

4 minute read

Take a walk through any upscale beauty department and you will be bombarded with swathes of potions and lotions purporting to be anti-ageing and rejuvenating. Serious cash can be spent in the pursuit of restoring youthful glow, luminosity, and vitality.

I do love a bit of gloss and glamour. I must confess that over the years I’ve drunk the beauty Kool-Aid, frequently handing over my hard-earned cash for the latest face cream or serum. Pampering is self-care, and I’m a huge proponent of it in all its forms.

However, 18 months of staying at home, wearing masks, and using minimal makeup have made me re-think beauty and what it means. Not so much beauty as a notion, but the often-unchallenged narrative that unblemished youthful looks are the only acceptable form of beauty.

To me, the lexicon of ageing needs a reboot. The beauty industry is all about youth, or let me say it in real terms – anti-ageing. Youth equals beauty. Ageing therefore cannot equal beauty. I struggle with that concept because I’m pro-ageing. Or perhaps a better term is pro-self-acceptance.

If you grew up under a rock and looked through any magazine, digital platform, or TV ad, you would assume that getting older was to be avoided. That is, if you are a woman. If you are a man, you become “distinguished”. If you are a woman, you are expected to stop time to remain appealing.

Despite steps forward in gender equality, women are still judged on their looks in a way that men never will be. Our Packaging is everything. By subscribing to the quest to restore lost youth, we are effectively saying that ageing is fundamentally bad, and that older, wiser women have nothing to offer.

In my view, our goal should be to look the best we can for the age we are, not to turn back the clock or look like a plastic parody of ourselves. I’m happy to invest in beauty products that make me feel good, smell nice, or look a bit more polished. But I don’t subscribe to the narrative that to look good, we should try to look younger.

When I was a teenager, I was desperate to get my hands on makeup. I wanted the kohled eyes and red lips of my idol Madonna. My ever-wise grandmother warned me that I shouldn’t wish away my childhood, as once it was gone, it was gone forever. Naturally, being a teenager, I ignored her. Fast forward 30 years and everyone is trying to look younger. I refuse to believe that female beauty is so short-lived and ephemeral.

It shocks me that women in their 20s are getting Botox to get ahead of the ageing curve. I place no judgement on women who go down the injectables route, but it’s not for me. For one, I’m terrified of needles. But mainly? I’m forty-seven and I’m not ashamed of it.

Yes, I have a few wrinkles and I don’t bounce back after a big night out the way I used to. But I wouldn’t swap the wisdom and humility that comes with age for all the collagen in the world. I’ve lived a great life, full of adventure and laughter. If that shows on my face, that’s fine with me.

Practicing yoga and meditation makes me feel good about what my body can do, and how it feels, rather than focusing on how it looks. This daily practice is far more fruitful than fighting an unwinnable battle against mother nature.

Madonna is no longer an idol of mine. At 63, she is still clinging to her old self, unaware of the treasures that embracing ageing might offer. To me, she has become a parody of herself. Instead, my idols are women who look naturally beautiful because they are not trying to be anyone else. Women like Cate Blanchett, Julianne Moore and Emma Thompson, who are still luminous in their fifties and sixties, and have gone on record to suggest that ageing should be embraced.

Luminosity is not something that comes in a bottle or a needle, it comes from having an open heart, a growth mindset and a strong sense of self, no matter what age you are.

That said, I’ll still dance around my kitchen to Material Girl. That’s the beauty of getting older – you don’t care if you look like an idiot.