New Year Optimism Made Easy(ish)
5 minute read
Once Christmas Day passes, the weight of expectation begins to feel heavy on my shoulders. The countdown to New Year’s begins and with it the pressure to have a list of resolutions ready to tick off through January as I did Christmas gift ideas in December. Without them, it’s easy to feel as if I’ve failed to get off the 2022 starting block. But I was never much of a list maker, so this year I’ve decided to condense my ten commandments for the new year into one all-encompassing dictate; that is to be optimistic.
Author J Allen Shaw wisely advised, “Don’t make resolutions without an action plan”, but so often that’s exactly what we do. We make a resolution as if we are wishing on a star, and then we wonder why it doesn’t translate into tangible change. The most important word with which to begin any new year is not resolutions but strategies, because as much as I might embrace the idea of optimism, I need material plans in place to effect that mental transformation at those times when everything around me might indicate ‘panic’.
While the Dalai Lama rightly said, “Choose to be optimistic, it feels better”, in this Covid era, how do we get over that emotional hump of defaulting to feeling fearful, anxious and pessimistic? Optimism may be the answer, but first I need to create an emotional space in which optimism can breathe and grow. For me, this begins with something as simple as switching off the news. This can be difficult if you don’t live alone. I care for my mother right now and she’s a news junkie, but I’ve managed to wean her down to one bulletin a day, from which I exempt myself.
While I don’t like the idea of ignoring what’s going on around me or in the wider world, there are times when the best thing you can do for yourself is to take a break from the bigger picture.
Choosing to be optimistic begins with the action of immersing myself in optimistic images and soundbites rather than negative ones.
Of course, it’s easy during Christmas week to retreat from reality and immerse myself in the feel-good fantasies and unapologetic romance of the festive season, but on January 1st when the physical and emotional cocooning ends along with the Hallmark movies (not having children, my Christmas never drags on till the 6th), I need firm strategies not tired platitudes. So I swap the festive films with reading time courtesy of the books I’ve been gifted for Christmas. Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart is among those on my bedside table. I may have tuned out of current affairs, but I haven’t zoned out, because books like this one will feed my brain and help nurture my wellbeing. Right now, Prime Time will do neither.
Focusing on the ‘me’ rather than the ‘we’ in our current reality gives us back a little of the control we’ve lost over the past couple of years, which is essential to an optimistic outlook, because according to an article on bbc.com, “People who report feeling little power in their lives tend to show a greater risk of illnesses and death.” It was the ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus who stated that all external events are beyond our control, but as individuals we are responsible for our own actions, which we can examine and control through self-discipline. This stoical outlook on life draws a clearly defined line between what we should and shouldn’t focus our energies on. We have no power to end Covid or influence government policy, but we do have the power to protect ourselves and our closest, and to appreciate the importance of these actions.
Of course part of the problem as we enter 2022 is that we’ve been forced to demonstrate draining amounts of self-discipline during this Christmas, last Christmas, and the many many months in between. Self-discipline used to offer the adrenaline rush of a competitive sport because it was a choice, and involved a personal goal you were determined to reach and then celebrate. But it is no longer an act of will. Instead, it’s as if we’re being punished for mistakes most of us haven’t made. We’ve sanitised not socialised over the past two years, yet there’s no reprieve from lockdowns and curfews for good behaviour.
For this reason, we need to practice using our ‘optimism muscle’. You train to complete a 10k run, and you must train your mind to think optimistically. This begins the moment you open your eyes in the morning because it’s during this window of half-sleep that anxiety can get a foothold on the rest of your day. If you’re somebody who keeps a gratitude journal, have it to hand and read it before you get out of bed. If walking is your chosen remedy, head out first thing and shake off those cobwebs of fear beginning to form. There’s a strong element of practice makes perfect here, because while pessimism is a trait likely to be inherited, optimism can be learned. Nurture has as much power as nature in this respect.
While it’s not helpful to look back longingly at pre-Covid days, remembering what we’ve all survived over the past 18 months is important in facing the coming year without fear and anxiety. Conversely, while it’s probably not helpful to think too much about the state of play in six months’ time, it can be extremely beneficial to imagine ahead five or ten years, and to write down exactly how you want your life to look then. In the same way that a gratitude journal steadies us with the reminder of what we have rather than what we’ve lost, a positive picture of you or me in ten years’ time can ground us and make the future seem less daunting and more optimistic than it might otherwise.
To some extent, we’re talking about mind games, but they’ve proved to be powerful tools in aiding an optimistic outlook. According to a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies in 2018, imagining your ideal future can significantly boost optimism levels because it shifts our focus from worrying about the worst possible outcome to visualising our dreams coming true. While this may sound a lot like those Hallmark Christmas movies, the data indicates the strategy works.
Imagining my ideal self in ten years’ time sounds like a worthy way to spend New Year’s Day, and it’s something that can be achieved with or without a hangover.
Marie Kelly, January 2022
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