Where’s the Spark?

6 minute read time

We need to talk about creativity and motherhood. Even before this pandemic sucked the joy and energy from our bodies there was a disjoint between being a mother and being a creative. In theory, working in a creative industry is the perfect situation for a working mum. Hours are flexible, you pick your own jobs, you can work at night when the kids are in bed but what that inevitably boils down to is having little or no job security, juggling multiple balls, dropping a few of them and basically working two full-time jobs – being a mum and being a creative.

The last year has highlighted almost all of these issues and while a lot has been said about the people who have found time to invest in creative endeavours, rediscover dormant talents and run virtual marathons there are millions of mothers who are just trying to keep it together even though they too would love to paint, write a novel or just go to the bathroom alone.

I had just been getting in the swing of juggling my freelance writing career with motherhood when Covid struck. Schools were closed for when my second daughter was six weeks old and so though I was disappointed that some of my maternity leave, such as it was, as a self-employed woman would be spent at home alone, I was sure that by the time this was all over I would be back working with childcare sorted. I had grand plans for 2020 that included stealing a couple of hours a week to work on a creative project of my own, but the reality soon hit me in the face.

My husband works in television news and so has been busier than ever before and my daughters and I wave him off as he leaves the house every morning while we face into another day of just us. Most of my days are spent cooking, cleaning, playing, walking (so much walking), cajoling and cuddling to sleep. Then in the evenings, I sit down with my laptop to catch up on the work I didn’t do, because I was doing my other job - personal creativity looking like an ever more distant horizon blocked by a tide that only goes one way. And I’m not the only one feeling like this.

The nature of freelance work, which is where most creatives operate, means that those with partners and children must take on the majority of childcare because a full-time employee inevitably earns more and so must be allowed to work on. And in peace.

It’s a situation that worked for many before when kids had creche and schools and part-time work could be done in normal hours. Sarah Rickard is a mother of two boys and a Fashion Stylist and Creative Producer. Creativity is proving difficult for her to grasp in the current situation.

“I’ve never been one for organised creativity or sitting down at my desk for a particular length of time to try and percolate ideas but there is definitely a dulling of the spark and that’s mainly due to the fact that I can’t even form a thought at the moment. I feel like I’m in a constant state of PMS so everything is heightened. The boys are there, the walls are closing in, there’s noise, there’s always a dishwasher to empty or a wash to put on which was always the case but without constantly having to be at home.

The way I would normally work is that I would see something that would inspire me and I’d go from there but I am finding it more difficult to be inspired. I think that the fact that I’m not out and about or people watching, which I love doing, has a lot to do with it. Then, to be honest, when they’re in bed the last thing I’m going to do is start looking to be inspired.

I am a perpetually exhausted pigeon and it’s the relentlessness of the mundane that gets you. That sounds terrible because I’m so happy with my lot and I’m so grateful that my husband has a job and we have a roof over our heads and we’re all healthy but yes from a creative perspective things are a bit bleak.

There’s also the fact that even if I was to spend the time pitching something, who do I even pitch it to? No one is doing anything so you’re kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

Creativity is so often collaborative and that connection with people is something that Creative Director and mum to Emma Rose, Sinead Keenan really misses.

“The downtime at home during lockdown has been great in terms of giving my brain breathing space and time to think creatively. However, with us all being in the house, a huge part of my day is taken up being Mum and it can be very distracting (and it can also encourage a lot of procrastination!) As a freelancer, I have always mostly worked from home so when Emma Rose was in school, that was my time to get stuck in and do most of the graft. My husband has a proper ‘corporate’ job and needs to be at his computer at home most of the day, so the home-schooling is pretty much my responsibility. Emma Rose is ten, so bar the initial set up for an hour or so in the mornings, she’s pretty much self-sufficient. But there are interruptions throughout the day that will break trains of thought and pull you in and out of projects. It can really remove you from your work headspace.

What I also find creatively stifling, is the lack of interaction with like-minded creatives. I’m a people person, I like being in the room! I enjoy, and work best, meeting with people in the flesh, working with crews on set. I love collaborating and creating something with a team.

All in all, I do think I’m one of the luckier ones; when I consider friends with more than one child, or children who are younger and need much more attention and care. Being freelance, I appreciate the freedom of scheduling my own work time and I do have incredible support from my husband Stefan as we share all the other household/parenting jobs equally.”

Broadcaster Síle Seoige has been working freelance for a number of years now and is used to having a number of projects on the go at once. She, like so many of us, is at home alone with her little boy Cathal during all of this which doesn’t leave a lot of time for making plans and thinking creatively.

“My partner is an essential worker so we, like many others, are juggling family and work life and it's challenging. My podcast 'Ready to be Real' is my main creative outlet right now, but I can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the 'to do' list which seems to be never-ending! Creativity is often replaced by survival in the now but I know it's temporary and there will be time for everything else again.”

It’s so often the case that great writers and artists are childless or so wealthy and with so much help as to be unencumbered by the mundanity of looking after children. Or are men, who are not expected to have their creativity stifled by family life. It has been demonstrated time and time again that even when men share an equal portion of childcare and housework women are still constantly thinking about logistics, food, birthdays, doctor’s appointments and all the things that keep lives running.

Like so much of everything to do with working women, it’s clear that there will be a creativity lag for some mothers as long as there is a problem with childcare and the division of family labour. But how can we solve it? I don’t know, I’m too tired to figure it out.

Jennifer Stevens, February 2021