Make a List, Check it Often
5 minute read
A few weeks ago I woke up and my first thought was, what today? What grim thing is going to make me spiral even further into misery. What will I hear on the radio as I boil the kettle that will push my already heavy shoulders down even more. What else can possibly happen at this point?
I made the school lunch, got everyone dressed, packed up and out of the house. As I turned onto the country road that leads to my daughter’s preschool, I perked up, sat a little straighter and started scanning the trees. I was looking for my friend – a beautiful bird of prey I see a couple of times a week.
When I spot him on our drive, I take it as a talisman that it’s going to be a good day. If it’s a Monday morning, he’s the promise of a good week.
There he was, on one of his usual branches, and I realised I was not only smiling, but grinning from ear to ear. He’s one of the little things that keep my chin up in an increasingly grim reality. Recently, I’ve been keeping a list of the things that make me happy as a counterbalance to everything that’s going on in the world.
Here’s my list. Maybe you could write yours? It’s not a cure-all, but if you can work out the things that make you smile each week, it’s a very good start.
I’m pretty sure my birdy friend is a Buzzard and so I call him Buzz. Inspired, I’m sure you’ll agree. In my defence, I’m very tired and I didn’t realise we were starting a relationship. He’s handsome, stoic, and unbeknownst to him, one of my very best friends.
You will know the poem Warning by Jenny Joseph; it starts like this: “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple, With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.” Well, I’ve decided not to bother waiting until I’m old. I’m bringing out patterns and colour and all the clothes I haven’t worn for years. I’m getting dressed up for every possible occasion and it’s bringing me so much joy. There’s a positively enormous hat by an Irish designer that I’ve wanted for a very long time, and I think this might just be the summer that I throw caution to the wind and embarrass my family by getting it and wearing it everywhere!
There is a café close to where I live called Sásta and they do the most phenomenal pancakes I’ve ever eaten. They’re fluffy buttermilk and quinoa discs of joy, covered in vanilla and lemon mascarpone, with a forest fruits compote, maple syrup and fresh berries. It’s a plate of heaven and whenever I need a bit of perking up, that’s where I go.
The sight of my knickers fluttering on the line is guaranteed to make me happy. The minute the sun shines I start washing everything I can get my hands on and dry it outside. I strip beds and children until everything that can be washed is washed. A house free of musty clothes horses is a happy house indeed.
Food features heavily on my list and a couple of weeks ago we drove out to Howth to walk the Hole in the Wall, have breakfast on the pier and buy delicious, just-landed fish. I got Irish oysters and prawns for that evening’s tea, a big glossy piece of hake that became a curry and humongous ray wings to have with chips. We might go again today.
Books, books, books. Give me escapism, give me humour, give me a really gritty mystery to get my teeth into. Just give me 15 minutes with my Kindle to pretend I’m anywhere but here.
My new favourite Friday night ritual is two children tucked up in bed, a sitting room full of candles, a family bag of Torres crisps for my dinner and a glass of very cold champagne. I’ll cook every other night of the week if I can have just one evening like this. I like the truffle ones and the Iberico ham ones, but I’ll take absolutely any that are on offer. I also won’t share the bag with you. Get your own.
As often as I can, I take my daughters to my parent’s house for a few hours on a Monday afternoon. Their joy at seeing my girls, a cup of tea with my mum in the kitchen, and now that the weather is getting better, a bit of a run around their garden, sets the week up wonderfully. They’re both 80 this year and in rude health and every day I think how lucky we are that they’re here.
I read something recently about how your reaction to a situation will be how you remember it, not the scenario itself, and so instead of being permanently affronted or angry, I’ve been trying to smile. At grumpy shop assistants, at parents in the playground and, most challengingly, at other drivers – I have a very strong tendency towards road rage. And it works. I feel better and happier for doing it – who knew!
There are a flock of sheep close to my home that keep escaping. I don’t know where they’re going, whether or not the farmer who owns them is terrible at closing the gate, or if there’s a hole in the hedge, but every couple of weeks they’re somewhere they shouldn’t be and it’s making me laugh so much. I’ve written a full Pixar script titled Abandon Sheep! around their adventures and I love them so much.
Jennifer Stevens, April 2022
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