In Her Heyday: Triona McCarthy

9 minute read

Writer, beauty columnist, TV presenter and Mum to Maxi and Mini, Triona is one of the most fun women in media. Having spent lots of time in her orbit, I can vouch for her vivaciousness and sheer love of life. Here’s some of the story of her life in midlife.

Which three adjectives describe you best?

Naughty but nice!

What is on your mind most these days?

Truthfully? TikTok songs. I am not joking.

‘How you like that, da na na,na,nah!” They get stuck on repeat on my internal sound system. Not helped by my six-year-old Mini who is the exact same, you should hear the two of us.

How old are you?

I am nearly 50!!! I’m totally winking at you as I type this. I love saying I’m older than I am, which is 48.

Go big or go home I say!

What made you decide to do what you are now doing in your life?

I’m making it up as I go along. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going at any given time. I just found myself here- no idea how I got here. Sorry, where am I?! Who are you? Actually, who am I?!!

How many things have you been in your life so far?

Okay, let’s see now. I was a ‘Mum’ from a very young age. I am the eldest girl of 8 children, so I feel I’ve been a childcare worker for a long time! After school, I moved to Dublin from West Cork to go to Bronwyn Conroy’s College of Beauty because I really wanted to be a makeup artist but there was no course at the time, you had to train to be an aesthetician as we say now.

For context, I am a farmer’s daughter from the country and didn’t know anyone in Dublin or have an aunt or a cousin who worked in media/makeup etc-so I had to figure it all out by myself. So then I briefly worked as the World’s Worst Beauty Therapist before going to Galway for a weekend and somehow ended up getting a job as a window display artist for Moon’s (now known as BT Galway).

I loved the buzz of fashion and retail, so I went back to college and studied Fashion Marketing & Management at the BB -ok, not the British national broadcaster, the Barbara Burke College of Fashion- and at the weekend I worked as a shop assistant and then decided to I to open my own boutique at 18, calling it Trina Cheile in the Grafton Flea Market. I was studying fashion marketing and management but selling other students designs/ creations and selling vintage pieces - I’ve always loved vintage. I had lots of celebrities buy from me as Dublin was hopping at the time, it was the place to party with U2’s the Clarence opening so we had all the Supermodels suddenly.

Then it was back to Brown Thomas and in less than 6 months I had become the youngest concession manager. I spent a lot of time working in London with a massive company and went on to open a standalone store for them. Along the way I encountered someone much older than me (long story) when I was very young and ambitious, she had no retail experience (but money) and made my life hell, but now I realise-it probably made me stronger. Or did it?

Next, I was headhunted to work as a buyer for another store which I loved and allowed me to travel all over the world! I brought Urban Decay into that store before anyone was selling makeup in fashion stores. During this time I was also working as a freelance stylist and makeup artist and was consulting with various start-up brands/ distributors and designing with a well known Irish label. When TV3 (now Virgin Media) started I was straight up there making connections and have been with them now for years having dipped my toe in with RTE on Head to Toe, the Afternoon Show etc. Next, I noticed that there wasn’t any beauty in the Sunday Independent, so I designed a page for them! This was back in the last century and I didn’t even know how to type… well I still don’t, I'm typing this with two fingers.

I used to change my photo weekly in Life Mag, people used to say I was doing selfies before Instagram was even a thing! I studied journalism at night in UCD at this point. So I came from a traditional print and tv background, but then I then had children and needed to work from home more - childcare was just too expensive - so I started dipping my designer dipped digits into the digital world.

Funnily enough now, I work as much online and I do in print- how things change. Nowadays, I still consult style and lately, I’ve been Depoping which tickles my old retail pickles. Beauty is my Duty but Fashion has always been my Passion.

I see this is fierce long so, to sum up: I’m the type that will roll up my sleeves and get stuck into whatever it is I need to do. Interiors are where it’s at, at the mo-so you’ll find me rivalling Mattress Mick these days online!

Where do you come within your family, and did this have any influence on you?

Eldest girl, my mum had me when she was 21. I have a brother 1 year older and there are 6 younger than me who believe it or not think of me more as their second mum.

I hate to say it but because my own mum married so young and had so many children it was never on my radar until I was on the wrong side of 35 and suddenly, I looked around and realised most of my friends were married and having babies. And then I met Will!!

Okay, I feel another song coming in hot…‘You came, and changed the way I feel, No one could love you more, Because you came and turned my life around, No one could take your place”

How have I managed to remember the lyrics to that cheesy Kim Wilde song and yet I couldn’t tell you who the -let’s see now-I have it-who is the current Minister for Finance hashtag priorities.

So yeah, I had my children quite late in life, which was possibly a good thing.

Otherwise, I would have left them behind me like all of my handbags in Lilies and Renards.

What is the best, and worst piece of advice you have received in your life so far?

'You do you, boo.'

I have had a shocking amount of bad advice over the years.

Only now that I’m older I’ve realised people sometimes give you advice because they have their own agenda.

Sometimes the lyrics from Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield work for me…

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

What does midlife feel like to you?

I actually really like midlife. I'm quite immature for my age, my husband is 6 years younger (and 6 years more mature!). I feel I’m more in my early 40’s than my late 40’s.

Actually, scratch that, I feel like I’m 25. No, a teenager.

My husband often says he’s a single dad of 3: he has Triona the Tri-nager and the two young ones.

We’re growing, we’re changing, we are saying goodbyes we never thought we would and with each season of life, things become different: embrace the seasons of your life I say.

How do you care for your own wellbeing?

I feel my hubby Will is in charge of that! He always knows when I’m doing too much and vice versa.

We’re a team; he watches out for me and if he feels the scales are tipping too much, he hops on and helps balance things out. And I do the same for him. Yeah, I absolutely adore my husband.

Most people want to give out about their partner but I am thankful every damn day that I have Will.

Pass the cheese, please!!!

What do you feel free of now that you are at this life stage?

I met Iris Apfel during NYFW, she was 98 at the time, (now 100) and just back from the South of France - wasn't a bit jet-lagged and had so much energy.

Never again will I complain about being old or tired!

What gives you the most stress at this life stage?

Deadlines! And time management issues.

I’ve mostly only ever worked for myself and by myself so I have no idea how to do things properly.

Do you sleep well?

Not since I was a child and my BFF was knocked down and killed before [in front of] me. We’ve traced my chronic insomnia back to that.

Do you take any supplements or HRT?

I’m a supplement Kween so I am delighted to work with Irish brand Meno Active, a super supplement, formulated after two years of extensive research.

I’ve been a fan of this company since they launched. This has 30 active ingredients scientifically formulated for during your menopausal journey. I take one capsule and one sachet daily to support hormonal activity, Brain Function, Nervous System & Energy.

And this definitely helps me continue being my best self!

Because ageing is a gift and a privilege and we shouldn’t be afraid to age, we should be proud of it. Part of that process is menopause and moving into what is potentially our most powerful season in life.

So let's grasp it and run with it and keep talking about perimenopause and menopause.

What advice would you offer to yourself in your 20’s, 30’s and 40’s?

20’s: Go out and go stone mad. Get it all out of you now, especially all of those bad boys and girls. Date as many people as you can in your 20’s so by your 30’s you know what you like/ want/ deserve.

30’s: I extended my 20’s into my 30’s and I didn't meet my husband till I was 37, I always feel I am a decade behind. For everyone else who feels like that, don't worry. It’ll all work out. Don’t feel the pressure to be married by X and to have kids by X etc, there are no rules!

40’s: Ah, come back to me on that!

Or how about: “I’m too YOUNG to be OLD & I’m too OLD to be YOUNG. Maybe I’m just going crazy,” says Kathy Bates’ character in the fabulous film Fried Green Tomatoes.

What do you love about yourself?

I have a very happy-go-lucky nature. I look for the light in everything.

I’m reminded of a meme…

If you’re ever looking for a slightly alcoholic, psychopath gal who swears too much, eats too much and will probably try and put makeup on you while drunk then here I am.

I may have adjusted that slightly.

When do you feel truly alive?

When I’m fencing. As a combat sport, it requires complete mental immersion and deep concentration so I find it a highly effective means of relieving stress. Nothing else matters as it's both physical and mental. And it’s the only sport I'm actually good at AND enjoy.

The tactical part sparks my imagination and creativity, which in turn I feel helps me find creative solutions to problems not just whilst fencing, but in my day-to-day professional and personal life as well.

Ellie Balfe talks to Triona McCarthy, November 2021.