8 minute read

I met Natalie Larkin a few years ago. Our paths crossed as I consulted to the French beauty brand Biologique Recherche’s Irish arm on content and brand strategy. She gave me facial treatments that were (and still are) the very best I’ve ever had. Her hands are as intuitive as her nature. We were lucky to attend an event together in Paris once, and after it was over, Natalie and I went for a glass of wine. We sat together on one of the beautiful boulevards in the sun feeling far from home and giddy with adventure. And we talked about our lives. She shared her story with me and I was captivated. And now, when I think back as to what it was that moved me about her life, I see it was her strength - but equally, her softness. Natalie is a woman who has had a lot of life in her 42 years. She has had hard times as a young woman that remain too private to share here on a public platform, but that have made her the very embodiment of that term ‘soft power’. She took responsibility for her own healing, her own happiness and her own future and I find her utterly inspiring. I have wondered for a while would she share her life with me here on HEYDAY, and I’m so thrilled she agreed to when I asked. She is a woman of substance, depth and a sort of enthralling stillness, that is the sign of a woman who has worked shit out! Now, over to her…

What three adjectives describe you best?

Resilient, caring, and determined.

What is on your mind most these days?

Honestly, it's a mix of two things. Skin Passion is my new business and it's very much on my mind every day which is normal. The second is gratitude. It's become a daily habit for me, so every day I will think about how blessed I am for different things, and it has seriously grown so strong! I highly recommend it.

What is the last thing you said no to?

I was asked to work with a lady on social media offering business opportunities and I said No Thank You.

What is the last thing you said yes to?

My Ma asked me if I wanted some homemade soup brought up. I said Yes Please!

How old are you?

I am 42.

What made you decide what you are now doing in your life?

I come from a family where both my parents only had primary school education, so work was work. It put food on the table and paid the bills. I was very young when I became a mother, so I worked at child care, cleaning houses, working in supermarkets, cafes and pharmacies just to provide for my family, but as I got older I wanted to have a skill so I went to college and completed three years in Hair, Beauty, and Holistic Studies. I worked my way up the ladder and over the years gained a lot of experience. I also learned a lot about myself and how people treat you - that's very important, how people treat you!

I always had a way of looking after my clients making them feel at ease. I wanted to love what I do and I love helping people look and feel good about themselves. For me, both beauty and holistic wellbeing are connected so I wanted to do it my way. When the opportunity came about, I started my own business, Skin Passion, working with the incredible brand Biologique Recherche. Providing a space for my clients to rest and unwind while I work on their skin is my path, and I love it.

How many things have you been in your life so far?

As a babysitter from the age of 12, I was minding newborns (pretty sure that's illegal now!). I did child-minding for a few years, then it was in supermarkets on the tills. I became pregnant at 18 and again soon after, so I was a busy Mum of two. Then I went back to home help which involved working for families cleaning their homes and minding their children. I went on to managing a deli to working in a pharmacy, back to college and graduated, then worked in so many different beauty salons and spas over the years. My favourite was Lady G in Greystones where I managed the salon and learned a lot working with some of the top skincare brands in the industry. Finally, I came across the French brand, Biologique Recherche, working and trained with an amazing team, and now I am the founder and owner of my own business, Skin Passion. When I look back like this I'm pretty proud of myself actually!

Where did you come in your family and did this have any influence on you?

I am the third of four. Two older brothers and one younger sister. I really don't know if it had any influence though. The four of us are very close and we have all needed each other at different times in our lives. We're there for each other - that's how it is with us!

Are you where you wanted to be at this stage of your life?

Yes, I am. I think society can make you think differently. It's amazing I still get a look when I say I'm single. As if having a partner is the end goal. I think if you're happily married or have a loving partner you're blessed. I think if you're happily single and comfortable being alone you're also blessed! I feel like every decade of life is a unique stage and at this stage of my life I am healthy, which is most important, my family is all healthy, I have amazing women in my life, I've set up my own business, I've reared two children and become a granny twice! That's a lot of love and life.

What is the best and worst piece of advice you have received in your life so far?

This is a hard one. If I'm honest I feel like maybe I don't take advice. I hear it, and I take it in, but I very much listen to my gut and trust myself. I'm usually the one giving advice, but I have needed to hear it at times from people who want the best for me, not from people who think they know best. Best advice I got " never settle for less than what you deserve " I can't remember bad advice but I can assure you I got plenty. I just knew when not to listen!

What does midlife feel like to you?

Midlife for me is like stopping and looking back at all you have achieved, been through, and learned so far. I look at the twenty-something me and think It's a whole other person! All the things I worried about. Not feeling sure about myself, lacking confidence and caring too much about other people's opinions. I feel like when you hit 40 all the bullshit just goes. I don't worry about the same things now - they don't even matter. I'm much more outspoken. I feel so happy and content and enjoy the simple things in life. I have learned how to love myself, and that's not vanity; it's self-care at its finest. I have these moments where I feel so liberated I think that comes from not giving a shit but in the nicest possible way! That's midlife for me.

Is there something you have dreamt of doing for a long time? What is it? Are you going to do it?

I have always dreamt of seeing Bali or Thailand. I want to see the temples and beautiful beaches. I'm doing this as soon as possible.

Has there been a place, event or experience that has transformed you or given you a new perspective? And what changed after that?

When I was 15 my parents took me and my sister to Romania to spend the summer helping with orphanages and families affected by the poverty in the country. It was 1994 and it was something I will never forget. I saw real poverty, real struggles and at the time it shocked me and it has stayed with me. I think seeing stuff on a screen can be upsetting for some time but actually witnessing human beings struggle is something that stays embedded in you. It has given me perspective my whole life. I've had times when I had little or no money, but I know it was never really desperate. It was a massive lesson at a very young age and it made me humble.

Have you ever done therapy of any sort? If so, how did it help?

Yes, I have. I have done a lot of work on myself and some of that included CBT. It took me from a very dark place to where I am today.

*Natalie at a Biologique Recherche event*

People talk a lot about pivoting these days, of all the switches you've made or recommend, which has been the most powerful change for you personally?

Personally, for me, it was a realisation as I got older that if you want to do something you can, and it really doesn't have to please anyone else but you. That goes for all of it, so your career, your friendships, your relationships, and how you spend your time is really about you. It's a very simple mindset but it changes a lot.

Is there a milestone you are working towards in your personal or professional life at the moment?

I have hit a few milestones already! At the moment, not personally but professionally, I have a vision of where I want Skin Passion to go.

How do you think the world of work can improve for women?

I think women are amazing, but I also think women are under so much pressure. How many women have had to choose to stay at home because childcare is too costly? The past two years have shown that women can work from home, so maybe more flexibility for women raising young families.

What do you spend too much time doing? And what do you spend too little time doing?

I spend too much time on my phone but I'm aware of it and try to limit it now. So as soon as I find myself looking at pointless reels on Instagram I'm like ‘off now!’ I spend too little time relaxing and just doing nothing. I actually feel guilty about doing nothing, like I should be getting something done. I think we have become so busy with life we have forgotten how to just be present, but I find myself in these moments where I stop and take it all in. I feel happy then.

How do you care for your well-being?

There are so many ways to care for your well-being. Mentally and physically it has a massive effect on all areas of your life. I train in the gym, eat well, sleep well, talk to my closest friends and listen to music. I spend time alone when I know I need it, and in the past few years, I have learned to be kinder to myself. We are far too hard on ourselves.

What do you feel free of now that you are at this life stage?

I feel free of drama. Life can be dramatic and when you're young it can be difficult. Drama is something I don't do now. I have found myself in situations trying to get my point across to realise I don't have to. I can walk away and spend my time wiser. If someone doesn't get you, see you or respect you, why bother?!

What gives you the most stress at this stage?

I stress over deadlines and to-do lists, and they are necessary, but I do think if I got hit by a bus none of this would even matter, so calm down girl.

Do you sleep well?

Yes, I need my sleep. I have a Fitbit and it tracks my sleep so most nights I get 7 hours. I sometimes hit a bad sleeping spell and I go round all day telling people how tired I am!

Do you take any supplements or HRT?

Yes. I studied diet and nutrition and always had an interest in health supplements. At the moment I am loving probiotics called Bio-Kult, Revive sachets and Clean Marine Menomin. No HRT.

What advice would you offer yourself in your 20s, 30s and 40s?

20s: Don't follow trends and pluck your eyebrows to an inch of their life.

30s: Enjoy your freedom and choose your happiness above everything else.

40s: Don't be afraid to let your hair down now and then; you are not old!

Did you ever feel lost in your life path? How did you find your way again?

I was very lost at a very young age and it was a very difficult time for me. It took a long time to find my way back but I learned that no matter how awful things got I had this survival mode which is where my resilience comes from. I can't really say how I found my way back. It was years of moving forward despite all I had been through. I have a tattoo of a Lotus Flower which means a lot to me. "The deeper the mud the more beautiful the lotus blooms."

What do you love about yourself?

I love my determination. It's gotten me through so many things in life, so without it where would I be?

When do you feel truly alive?

When I am with the people I love and I think about how blessed I am to have them. When my grandkids smile at me, kiss me, or hug me. There are times when I can feel truly alive alone. Music, a good mood, sunshine, and a walk on the beach that's really being alive to me. Simple things make me feel alive. I went to Italy with my sister and we were taking a boat trip along the Amalfi coast - it was just so beautiful out at sea speeding along taking it all in.

*Natalie with her son, daughter and grandchildren*

What do you consider your biggest achievement?

Raising my two children alone. They're 21 and 22 now, and my God does it go quickly!

What was a major turning point in your life?

I think the day I went for therapy was the start of a major turning point for me. I suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time. I had to use medication to control the anxiety and I remember going for therapy thinking it might help. I spent two years working through personal things and it wasn't easy at all but it was definitely a major turning point for me.

What are you looking forward to?

I feel like Covid has been so tough on us all. I miss live gigs and proper holidays. I'm looking forward to the day I can go to a concert in a huge venue full of people with an amazing artist performing, the sun shining and everyone around you loving it even more than ever!

Are you a good friend?

I have amazing friends, just a few. I think I'm a good friend. I check in with them regularly to see how they are doing. We spend time together and they know I would be there for them no matter what. All through your life, you will have different friends but only some stay in your life and so you really appreciate them.

Any regrets?

Some people say no regrets but I think you have to have some. It's part of life - not everything goes to plan, and some things happen that you wish didn't, but it's not about regret. You can't dwell on regret. It makes you sad, bitter even.

What are you afraid of?

I am afraid of losing loved ones. It's inevitable I know, but it scares me.

Knowing what you know now, what is most important in life?

Your own happiness. Most important!

Favourite book, and why?

I wish I could read more, but during lockdown I read The Gift by Edith Eger. Edith and her family were sent to Auschwitz, her story and work is amazing.

Last time you cried, tears of joy count!

I cry when I'm hormonal. I can be sitting in the car and I just get emotional and overwhelmed and cry for nothing, so probably about two weeks ago on my last period.

How do you draw on your own inner strength and creativity?

Well, I do try and take one day at a time. I have gotten better at knowing when to push myself and when to pull back. I always go to bed and switch off knowing that a new day brings new strength and new ideas. Some days I feel full of energy and really focused then other days I'm not so sure. On both days I do my best and it balances out. I think you have to trust the process.

What are your feelings on this new covid world we find ourselves in?

It's been so life-changing for so many people. I know we haven't been left in devastation but I do feel like it really shook us up. The beginning was so hard, the worry was huge! It feels a bit better now and we are slowly making progress. It has affected people mentally but I think it will bring about a new appreciation for our well-being. The restrictions can be frustrating but look at all the other madness going on in the world right now.

Are you fulfilled?

Yes, I have all I need and more. As a person, I am very fulfilled and very blessed

Questions: @EllieBalfe1 & Answers: Natalie Larkin @skin_passion.bynatalie

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In Her Heyday: Natalie Larkin