How To Be A Better Work Ally

5 minute read

It’s been a tough week, a tough month, a tough few years. Every time things seem to be getting better something else comes along. There is very little we feel able to control. War, the climate crisis, sexism, misogyny and a pandemic have left us feeling helpless. But in all of this madness, there are small things we can each do to feel as if we’re making a difference. We can donate our money, our time, our ideas to help those who really need it now. We can recycle, buy less, retrofit and future-proof to contribute to change. We can acknowledge our privilege and stand up for what we believe in and make sure that we’re doing everything we can to oppose wrong and lift up others.

More than ever, we need to be allies and to use our voices to speak out when we see something we’re uncomfortable with.

One place we can make a difference is at the office. We might think that all workplaces, with their company policies and HR teams, are a beacon of equality and fairness, but it’s not always the case. We’re definitely in a better place than ever before, but sexism, ageism, inappropriate banter and racism do still exist, mainly because they’re at a level that doesn’t warrant notice from official channels.

All senior teams are hyper aware of issues around diversity, sexism and marginalisation in their organisations whether they address them or not. In the past, speaking out against these things may have singled you out as a troublemaker or difficult, but in 2022 problems like these can no longer be ignored either by the C Suite or by anyone that sees them.

There are ways to be an effective ally. Melinda Epler is the CEO of Change Catalyst, an organisation which specialises in helping tech companies solve diversity and inclusion issues. She said in her Ted Salon Talk that being an ally is “really seeing the person next to us and the person missing. Who should be standing next to us? First, knowing what they’re going through, and then, helping them succeed and thrive with us.”

Privilege

The first thing we can all do is understand our privilege, and how that privilege is power. People can sometimes find even the word privilege difficult. It doesn’t mean you haven’t worked really hard to get where you are, or that you haven’t faced difficulties in your life, just that you, as a white, or able-bodied, or middle-class person already have a step up on so many others. Once you recognise that you’ve already had some numbers come up on life’s lottery you can start to see the effects of privilege all around you.

All Voices

A key thing you can do as an ally is to help your organisation ensure that all voices are heard. If there’s a panel discussion, an event, or even a big meeting where voices are usually only male or all-white or all people of the same age, ask if it’s possible to be more inclusive. Can you hear from more women, more people of colour, younger team members or older ones that you feel are being pushed aside in the organisation?

We know from the Government that when just one group is heard all the time, it’s difficult to understand which obstacles are facing the general population.

If you’ve noticed that certain people are talked over in meetings, you can be an ally by asking that person to repeat their point, or referring back to their idea and giving them credit for it.

Blitz the Banter

Sometimes the most difficult place to step up and be an ally is in relaxed moments. Often people will revert to offensive “banter” if there is nobody from a marginalised group present – although interestingly sexist jokes are still made in front of women, who are either supposed to laugh along or be so accustomed to them that they say nothing.

Being an ally means speaking out against things that are said which may offend an underrepresented group even if no member of that group is present. There may be a lot of ‘PC gone mad’ reactions, particularly from people who don’t think that they’re racist or sexist but so be it. Change can’t only be up to the underrepresented, it has to be up to all of us.

Face the Fear

Sometimes people are so afraid of saying the wrong thing that they prefer to say nothing. That’s an understandable tactic of self-preservation, but you always remember the times you didn’t step in and say or do something. The more opportunities you take to be an ally the more comfortable you’ll feel doing it.

Under the Radar

Some workplace discrimination is subtle. It might be the edging out of an older team member, sideways moves for women returning to work after maternity leave or quiet comments directed at someone needing flexible working to look after an elderly parent. While you’re on the lookout for the big problems that need to be challenged, watch out for the smaller ones too.

In a post-pandemic work world, it would be nice if we could hire people based on talent and experience and not on gender, race, age or the fact that sometimes, some of us need to leave at 3pm to look after a loved one. It would be even nicer to think that we all had each other’s back.