For What I'm Worth
5 minute read
I recently advertised a job on Facebook and LinkedIn. I needed some freelancers, experienced in a particular area, to work on a project I’m heading up. I got lots of emails and I whittled them down by experience. When we got down to the nitty-gritty, I realised that one of the women was drastically undervaluing herself. She was more experienced than both of the men on my list but there was a massive gap in their day rates. When I told her, she said that she had been questioned about a higher rate in the past and so settled on one she was sort of comfortable with in order to get the work. I mentioned what the others were charging and pulled her rate up to the average I was paying. I did it because it was fair and because, reader, I’ve been that woman. I am often that woman.
I’ve had somewhat of a revelatory moment this year. I have always undervalued my work. I know I have, and I know the reasons. Sometimes I do it because I want the job and I quote what I think they might be willing to pay. This is pure guesswork based on absolutely nothing by the way.
The second is imposter syndrome which, when I take a moment to step back and look at the situation objectively, is ridiculous. I know that but here we are. The third is being so incredibly uncomfortable with talking about money that I get embarrassed and just blurt out something silly. Or worse still, start at the rate I want to be paid and then talk myself and the client down before they’ve even had a chance to agree or disagree. Oh, my rate is €300 a day, but sure it won’t take me long, I’ll do it for €250, or if you think it might be something you ask me for again, I could do €200. Before you know it, I’ve barely covered my childcare and I’ve screwed myself. Again.
But this year, I’ve made a conscious effort to change the situation. I’m doing what every career article I’ve ever read has told me to do. I’m quoting my preferred fee and then staying silent. And, in what will come as a surprise to no one, it’s working.
Not only is my accountant really pleased with me, but I feel more confident than I have in a long time. It’s as if I now value the work that I do. I’m shocked, but I shouldn’t be.
I’m doing that very un-Irish thing of stating what I need or expect and then smiling nicely and saying nothing at all. In my, albeit fledgling, experience that space is either filled by the other person in the conversation/negotiation or they simply say yes.
I’m also trying out the much recommended ‘no is a complete sentence’. I have found this one harder but it’s working too. Instead of oversharing in inappropriate situations, I’m just saying no or I’m sorry I can’t. It’s helping my stress levels, my work-life balance, and nobody seems to mind. In fact, they seem pleased that I’m being upfront and straightforward.
Of course, my new methods don’t work all the time and I may still be undervaluing what I do. It can be hard to know what other people are charging or are being paid and it would be much easier if a company said upfront what the fee was for a job instead of asking you what you would charge.
According to the CSO, the gender pay gap in Ireland in 2017 was 14.4%. A study done by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development in July of this year found that that gap was still at 14%. That’s depressingly little change in four years.
There has traditionally been a veil of secrecy over money in Ireland and that plays into companies’ hands. I remember being really shocked when a friend in Oslo told me that there were no such secrets among Norwegian people. Anyone in Norway can find out how much anyone is paid. A list of everyone’s income, assets, and the amount of tax they’ve paid in a year is a matter of public record. It used to be printed in a book found in local libraries but is accessible online now. However, searches are also visible which has cut down massively on the number of people accessing the data. I guess you don’t want to be seen to be snooping on your neighbours.
But this public discussion of salaries means that undervaluing your work is less likely. It’s something we could all do here. Speaking to colleagues, other freelancers, and people in the company you’re hoping to join about average salaries is not something businesses expect. Open conversations about money can only lead to more equitable pay and a better understanding of what to aim for.
Being straightforward, honest, and charging what I feel I’m worth has done wonders for my confidence and my belief in my abilities this year. It has helped my relationship with clients because I feel I’m being valued for what I do and I’m happier in my work than ever before.
Talking about money could change things massively for women, whether employed or freelance but needs buy-in from male counterparts too. We need the men we work with to share what they’re being paid and to speak up if they see female colleagues being undervalued. We can’t, and shouldn’t have to, do this alone.
I’m only managing to advocate for myself at 43. It’s taken me a long time but as someone of seniority on teams what I can do now is speak to my younger colleagues and friends openly about what they should be asking for. We can only level up with support.
Jennifer Stevens, August 2021
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