Margaret Egan - Footfalls Echo in the Memory

I’ve been curious about cacao for some time now. It has penetrated my algorithm on Instagram to such a degree that it pops up in my scroll almost daily now. Personally speaking, I guess I am prone to a notion (my friends certainly attest to that!), but I prefer to say I am simply inquisitive. I am curious by nature and I like to experience things before I decide on any particular decision or course of action. Over time, I have tried all manner of new diet plans, superfoods, yoga programmes, meditation, online training sessions and wellness webinars, all in the name of attaining that promised place of peace - the concept of feeling well and whole.

So when I noticed that a yoga teacher I know and respect, Amanda Walsh, was holding cacao ceremonies and inviting people to join via her WhatsApp yoga group I’m in, my curiosity was piqued and I persuaded her to tell me about it.

Initially, I was keen merely to give up my morning coffee habit, but reader, once I heard of its purported powers I was more than intrigued. And, weirdly, a little emotional. More on that to follow, but for now, all you need to know next is that I contacted another cacao facilitator, Natasha Vavasour, co-founder of wellbeing brand The Stll, and chatted with her about it too. With my mind made up and my heart wide open, I bought a block of it, planning to drink it as intended, first thing in the morning, mindfully, on an empty stomach.

Ceremonial cacao is €50 per block and you get 16 serves per block. So, at just over €3 per cup, it’s equivalent to buying a café coffee a day. And if you’re to drink it daily, as advised, it’s €100 per month. Which is quite the investment, to be fair.

But in the name of knowledge, notions and a bit of self-love I committed myself to try it after I asked Natasha and Amanda these questions…

So what is ceremonial cacao?

Natasha: Cacao is an ancient, sacred plant - very simply put, it is chocolate in its purest, rawest form. We all know the feeling of reaching for chocolate when our mood is low or we've experienced heart break, well this is actually very ancient instincts at play. What we are really reaching for is the heart soothing properties found in cacao, it’s just that here in the western world the closest we have to that is chocolate bars from the supermarket which have been heavily transformed from pure cacao via additives. Even our organic raw cacao powders have been so heavily processed they lack the all chemical make up of ceremonial grade cacao that I am speaking of here.

So just 1 cup of ceremonial grade cacao is our RDA of magnesium, it is also packed with iron, antioxidants, minerals and proteins. It’s a really rich superfood for the physical body and on an emotional level, the chemical makeup of cacao actives a feeling of bliss, helping us tap into suppressed emotions by opening us up from the heart space. You can get a more detailed insight into the chemical make up of cacao by reading this article.

when should we drink it?

Natasha: The best time to drink cacao is first thing in the morning on an empty stomach to maximise its’ bliss activating effects, however, if mornings are busy it’s best to wait until you have time to sit down and enjoy the whole process of making it, drinking it and feeling it. It certainly helps enhance any meditation or mindfulness practice, but it also can be used as a coffee replacement because it does give a boost in energy, just in a very different way to coffee as doesn't hit the central nervous system, so there is no crash after drinking it. It gives a natural, uplifted feeling of genuine long-lasting energy.

What are the benefits?

Natasha: I think it benefits everyone, but for women in midlife I think it would be a beautiful ritual practice in self-care, and reclaiming some deeper connection with their inner world, along with just activating that sense of playfulness and joyful energy again. Cacao is very much like an invisible teacher or guide and so I truly believe it meets each individual where they are at in their world. It offers them, or more so aligns them, with whatever is needed for their highest good and highest healing.

What did you feel when drinking cacao?

Amanda: On the 7th day of drinking cacao she broke down 35 years of armour wrapped around my heart. Trauma, heartbreak, grief, sadness, disconnection. I felt a lightness in my heart I didn't know existed. I cried, I danced and I laughed. It was an ahh-haa moment I won't ever forget.

Cacao made her way into my life when I hated myself the most. I couldn't stand to be in my own skin. It’s funny we spend our whole life reaching out for a connection in all the wrong places. Not ever really thinking about reaching inwards into the space that we feel the most pain. The heart. The heart is hurt because we have abandoned it.

Cacao is medicine and teacher of the heart. She has taught me that everything I've ever searched for was always inside the heart. Cacao has helped me face my inner critic, and somehow my inner critic has become a pal and ally. She tells me when I'm bullshitting myself and keeps me in line. I love her for that. I never thought I'd hear myself say that.

Cacao practised with Breathwave (a breathing technique) brings you deep into the heart and mind-body. Its expands the energy of connection throughout your body. Creating heart and mind-body coherence. I practice this with Ronan O Brien a breath coach.

I remember reading this quote and it struck a chord, "The longest journey you will ever make is from the head to the heart". The message here really is that everything you are searching for is inside of you. Reach inwards, connect inwards. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s messy. But it's so worth it.

And what of me?

Ellie: So, I have been drinking it daily for a week now, and I want to give you an analytical review, something grounded and scientific. But I can’t. The science is proven, and there are many other articles you can seek out to read and research should you wish to explore for yourself.

All I can say, with my hand on my heart, is that after a week, I feel it.

I have carved out time in the early mornings when I can be alone as the dawn arrives to sit in silence drinking and sinking into myself. It is time alone I desperately need with this lockdown, this homeschool, this pandemic stress…

So maybe it’s just that - maybe it’s the fact I am honouring my need, honouring that I feel stress and worry and overwhelm, maybe it’s because of that that I have become emotional on two of the mornings and sobbed my heart out as I drank the beautifully bitter but slightly sweet cacao in the dark. Maybe it’s because of all I’ve read about it that is influencing me to meditate on the quality of love in my life - on whether it’s all in order - on whether I can give more, be more, have more love…

Maybe, indeed, I am just being influenced by something promising me something I want: inner peace and outward calm.

Or maybe it’s something else; maybe my heart is cracking open, maybe the light is getting in. Maybe, just maybe, this ancient drink is filling my cup.

Ellie Balfe, February 2021