The Side-Eye on seasons

When it’s this hot (no, am not in Ireland), you can’t remember what it’s like to be cold. I look at tights and jumpers stuffed at the back of my wardrobe the way I might look at Stone Age flints in a museum. Amazing how people lived in those times! Imagine encasing one’s hot legs in a tight 80 denier cotton poly fibre mix! Absolute mad savages.

The thought a jumper, of covering my arms at all – apart from the moments when you try out dressing in ‘floaty wafty stuff’ instead of ‘bare minimum required for decency’ – renders me frankly incredulous. I love summer and I can’t imagine not being so overheated that only flopping into the sea or crouching in front of an inadequate fan is the normal state of affairs. I’m sure that I’m experiencing flashbacks to my first summer on earth (the famed heatwave of 1976) as I regress to the stage of messing about in a paddling pool for the afternoon. Have you ever tried doing a work Zoom from a paddling pool? I have.

At the same time, I know that in a mere couple of months, I’ll be relishing the colder days and swirling leaves, announcing to all that I love autumn. Who’d like a stew or a bowl of soup? A last swim before we put away the togs for the season. Let’s have a Hallowe’en party. I’m even excited for the ‘Autumn Schedule’ on telly, with the promise of a lovely new costume drama for those lengthening evenings. Speaking of costumes, Strictly will be back and who doesn’t love some ballroom dancing to go with your toffee apple and mulled wine? Bonfires, fireworks, a new winter coat – there’s so much to enjoy. The tights are on, the jumpers are rediscovered and I can enjoy my annual quandary about whether a beret makes me look soignee and gorgeous or a bit try-hard. Have you ever done a work Zoom whilst also stoking a bonfire? I’m planning to.

Then there’s winter. Here (still not Ireland) you can generally count on a bit of snow, with the occasional proper satisfying road-blocking deluge. There are spectacular frosts and pale, pale mornings. The sea – at least for the Christmas Day dip – is icy cold and unwelcoming, but one of these years I’m going to just keep going, like the hardy old ladies stomping down for their morning immersion all year round. Christmas is going to be a quiet one this year, but then again maybe all the waifs and strays will descend and there’ll be a body in every bed and several more on the floor. I’m going to see how many roast potatoes one mid-life woman can eat during ‘Twixtmas’. I’m staying in for New Year, apart from going out for a big night. Absolution comes with a New Years Day swim. Have you ever made your New Year’s Resolutions on Zoom from a freezing beach? I’m doing that for sure.

I love seasons, the steady rituals and absolute predictability that transcends even global pandemics. By the time that spring finally arrives, I’m on my knees begging for an end to the cold and dark. I’m happy to roll over from appreciating the new green life and tumble right into a swimming pool for the summer. After a good baking, I long for rain and cold, crisp mornings and longer nights.

I’ve just stepped outside to ascertain how much sunblock I need for today. There’s a few drops of rain in the air and a cool breeze that wasn’t there yesterday. A new season is coming and I’m ready.

Jennifer Coyle, August 2020.