The Reading Room: Tiny Beautiful Things

Before Cheryl Strayed became a phenomenon following the release of her autobiographical Wild, she was quietly beavering away as agony aunt "Dear Sugar" on the literary website The Rumpus. She revealed her identity after Wild’s publication and her collection of columns was published late in 2012. Her (now discontinued) column went viral after she told of a harrowing experience of abuse as a child, yet recounted it as casually as if she were recalling something ordinary. This was after a reader wrote, ‘Dear Sugar, WTF? WTF? WTF? I'm asking this question as it applies to everything every day.” Then came Strayed’s extraordinary reply – and the beginning of something special.

THE BOOK:

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

PUBLICATION:

July 2012.

WHY IT SHOULD BE READ:

In 2020, I think we all find ourselves looking for something which says, ‘I understand. I’ve been there’, because none of us has encountered a year like this one. Everything is new and uncertain, so the words we seek are that of comfort and recognition, almost as if we’ve read them before. Cheryl Strayed’s Tiny Beautiful Things is this comfort.

As with all great modern agony aunts, Strayed is compassionate, wise and a straight-talker. She won’t let you off the hook, but nor will she ever judge those who need her guidance. If you want to have a life truly lived, you'll never come out unscathed. It's that mix of the sweet and the sour — and how we handle both — that determines who we are. And this is what Strayed so eloquently communicates. You’ll laugh tears of joy and sorrow in equal measure as she details unflinching and often uncomfortable advice, but they are words you need to hear.

On being true to yourself

One letter and response still moves me to tears, no matter how many times I read it:

It’s from a 26-year-old man who signs his letter "Beast with a Limp." He wrote that he was born with a rare blood disorder that has left him with physical deformities and joint abnormalities. He wants to know: Should he keep trying to find love? Or should he give up on the idea entirely?

‘You’re going to have to be brave. You’re going to have to walk into the darkest woods without a stick. You aren’t conventionally attractive or even, as you say, “normal-looking,” and as you know already, a lot of people will immediately X you out as a romantic partner for this reason. That’s okay. You don’t need those people. By stepping aside, they’ve done you a favour. Because what you’ve got left after the fools have departed are the old souls and the true hearts. Those are the uber-cool sparkle rocket mind blowers we’re after. Those are the people worthy of your love.’

On Work

Heyday Founder, Ellie’s, favourite segments are these two particular ones which came to her at the perfect moment of wondering on her path, as good words always do… “Don't lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don't have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don't know what it is yet.”

On Love

And, on looking for love, “I can't say when you'll get love or how you'll find it or even promise you that you will. I can only say you are worthy of it and that it's never too much to ask for it and that it's not crazy to fear you'll never have it again, even though your fears are probably wrong. Love is our essential nutrient. Without it, life has little meaning. It's the best thing we have to give and the most valuable thing we receive. It's worthy of all the hullabaloo.”