Moninne Griffith is a woman who empowers other people. A passionate activist at the heart of the LGBTQI+ community, she is the CEO of BeLong To Youth Services and former Director of Marriage Equality.
BeLonG To is the national organisation supporting lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex (LGBTI+) young people in Ireland. They work with LGBTI+ young people, between 14 and 23 years, to create a world where they are equal, safe, and valued in the diversity of their identities and experiences and this Pride, they have created a self-care pack called Bring Pride Home for 500 young LGBTQI+ people to celebrate Pride at home in the absence of the parade.

Which three adjectives describe you best?

Curious, passionate, determined.

What is on your mind most these days?

Pride and making sure that young LGBTI+ people feel connected and part of a community that loves them for who they are, even if we can’t march together this year.

What is the last thing that you said no to?

Eek! I am not great at saying no. Must do better…

What is the last thing you said yes to?

See above, I love saying Yes, especially Yes Equality and Together for Yes. The next campaign I want to work on will be about good sexual health education for young people and the working title is ‘yes, yes, yes’

What made you decide to do what you are now doing in your life?

My mum was a solicitor, but her passion was advocacy, she didn’t do it for the money, which was just as well because a lot of the work we did when we worked together was pro bono. My Dad set up two charities that have had significant impact on peoples’ lives, so I guess I always had a great sense of agency, a sense that even one person could make a difference in the world. I didn’t really enjoy being a solicitor, although the experience has stood to me. I came out relatively later in life, at 30 and once I did that I find a new energy and confidence and commitment to be part of a movement to improve the lives of women and LGBTI+ people. I had been married to a great man who I loved very much and had taken all the rights, protections and status that comes with that for granted. When I fell in love with an amazing woman, I just could not accept that our love was worth less than that in the eyes of the law and by the general public.
Love is a powerful driver of change.

How many things have you been in your life so far?

Daughter, sister, friend, dancer, law student, girlfriend, waitress, solicitor, volunteer, wife, campaigner and advocate, spokesperson, partner, aunty, god-mother, mother (after a very long path), foster mother, CEO, Chairperson.

Where do you come in your family, and did this have any influence on you?

First born, of 5 girls. Yes, it had a huge impact. I honed my leadership skills from a young age!

Are you where you wanted to be at this stage in your life?

I couldn’t have imagined my life now when I was a young woman. I had no role models or reference points. I feel so lucky. I have a wonderful partner, Clodagh, a daughter I adore, Edie, good friends and a job I love. I never expected to be this content.

What is the best, and worst piece of advice you have received in your life so far?

Dr Ann Louise Gilligan told me that if we can imagine it, we can make it a reality. Worst advice was probably when I was a teenager, being told to put lemon juice on my face to stop me getting freckles. Firstly, ouch sunburn! And secondly I love my freckles now.

What does midlife feel like to you?

A privilege. Comfortable being me. More confident. Lucky.

Is there something you have dreamt of doing for a long time? What is it? Are you going to do it?

Marrying Clodagh. I hope so.

Has there been a place, event, or experience that has transformed your ideas, change your thinking or given you a new perspective? And what changed after that?

Undertaking my MA in Women’s Studies in UCD changed me enormously. I met and learned from amazing teachers like Ailbhe Smyth, Katherine O’Donnell and Mary McAuliffe. It gave me a whole new lens and way to look at the world, power, privilege and discrimination. I made lifelong friends there like Paula Fagan and Denise Charlton, who not only were role models and mentors for me, giving me the courage to come out and be myself, they introduced me to Ann Louise Gilligan and Katherine Zappone. Meeting them and the talented group of activists they had gathered around them to fight for marriage equality, gave me my inspiration and purpose.

What is something you love now, that you couldn’t imagine you would like in the past?

Gardening – I have a teeny tiny garden, but I love watching things grow. It’s still a novelty for me when I don’t kill plants.

Is there a milestone you are working towards in your personal or professional life at the moment?

I want to see schools become safe spaces for LGBTI+ young people. Research that Colombia University did with us last year found that over 70% of LGBTI+ young people do not feel safe at school. The fear rejection, isolation, bullying. The impact is a public health one, with LGBTI+ young people twice as likely to become suicidal, three times as likely to self-harm and four times as likely to experience anxiety or depression as a result of homophobia and transphobia. They are also more likely to skip or drop out of school altogether which can spiral into all sorts of life-long issues such as higher risks of addiction, poverty, homelessness. This year we are rolling out Safe and Supportive Schools and I look forward to schools all over Ireland participating to make sure all student feel welcome and that they belong in school.

How do you think the world of work can improve for women?

Equality of respect for work more traditionally undertaken by women such as part-time work and caring work, equal pay, universal access to childcare, more family friendly workplace policies and practices.

What do you spend too much time doing?

Worrying.

And what do you spend too little doing?

Laughing with friends. I have very funny friends.

How do you care for your own wellbeing?

Meditating, walking, listening to podcasts and books. I have a coach too. She is fantastic.

What do you feel free of now that you are at this life stage?

The male gaze.

What gives you the most stress at this life stage?

The increase in hate speech and hate crime recently both on and offline.

Do you sleep well?

Not since I had my daughter Edie. I wake at the slightest noise now.

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What advice would you offer to yourself in your 20’s, 30’s and 40’s?

In my 20’s – come out, people who you love, will still love you and the sky won’t fall down.
In my 30’s- keep exercising and pace yourself.
In my early 40’s - Dream it and then make it come true.

Did you ever feel lost in your life path? How did you find your way again?

Many times. I try to follow the great advice I have been given in the past to stay on my track. I also have a coach. I cannot recommend doing some coaching enough.

What do you love about yourself?

My boobs. LOL

When do you feel truly alive?

Working with my team in BeLonG To making plans on how to make Ireland a great place to grow up LGBTI+. I love a blue sky brainstorming. I work with really creative passionate people and we can get very excited with blank flipchart paper.

What do you consider your biggest achievement?

Leading the marriage equality movement and witnessing Ireland become the first county in the world to introduce marriage for same sex couples by public vote.

What was a major turning point in your life?

Coming out.

What are you looking forward to in the coming months?

Being able to meet up with friends and family again as the lockdown rules relax through the different phases (and getting my hair done!)

Are you a good friend?

I am loyal to a fault. I would literally die for my close friends but I am not great at staying in touch.

What in life is beautiful to you?

I love music, singing and dancing. Bray seafront all year ‘round is also beautiful to me.

Where do you find inspiration?

The young people I meet in work inspire me.

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Any regrets?

Wasting too much time worrying about what other people thought about me

Knowing what you know now, what is most important in life?

Connection with other people and purpose.

What makes you feel at home?

My warm bed.

Favourite book, and why?

Untamed by Glennon Doyle. We share some life experiences and I loved listening to her read. She is fierce and hilarious.

Favourite piece of music, and why?

Clair De Lune. It remind me of a scene in a movie with Michelle Pfeiffer where after an intense and emotional night, the sun comes up, it’s another day, a new start, a clean slate.

Last time you cried (tears of joy count!)

This morning when I saw pictures of young LGBTI+ people opening their #BringingPrideHome packs. Knowing that for over 500 young people, some who aren’t even out, they can wear their T-shirts and read about Pride and feel connected and part of a community that loves them just as they are.

Ellie Balfe in email conversation with Moninne Griffith, June 2020.