Mentoring vs Coaching: Which do you Need?

If you’re at a career crossroads, getting some external support can get you back on the right track. There are plenty of experts out there offering all sorts of coaching, self-realisation and mentoring services. So what’s the difference between a coach and a mentor and when is a good chat with a friend more what’s really needed?

You might need a mentor if…

You want a senior person to help support you and help further you in your career. A mentor usually works in the same company (or industry) as you and has direct experience of the challenges and obstacles that you might be facing.

They’re the wise women with more experience than you. They maybe have been through recessions and setbacks (ok, maybe not global pandemics) and are likely to have an extensive professional network. They’ve been there, done that and have great empathy for you.

They are often, but not always, someone who can directly champion you – for example, supporting your bid for promotion or giving you a reference for a new role. They may advise you about where you need to up-skill, or what additional skills you need to develop in order to reach your goals.

Typically, a mentor is unpaid and is doing it because they’re invested in your success and your happiness.

Mentoring relationships can last a long time and they’re based on mutual trust and respect. It’s important that you feel a connection with a potential mentor, to feel that they’ve got your back and your best interests at heart.
But a coach is better when…
You want some help with the ‘how to’ and the roadmap, not the ‘what and when’.

A coach will help you break down the steps that you need to take to achieve your goals; polishing up your LinkedIn profile by the end of the week, signing up for a webinar or online learning course by the end of the year, etc.

Coaches provide accountability, setting homework or other tasks that you’ll need to complete between sessions.

Often, they’re not from your industry or company but are more likely than mentors to have received formal training in coaching skills and be paid for their coaching work.

Potentially, you can work with different coaches at different stages of your career to help you gain clarity on a specific goal, then identify the steps you need to get there.

There’s a whole world of different coaching techniques and approaches out there; from programs adapted from elite athlete training through to gentler plans with a strong spiritual element.

or could you go straight to training?

You can’t progress without up-skilling or gaining a qualification and you don’t need a mentor or coach to give you permission to go for it.

If you need to acquire specific skills or knowledge (learning a language, getting familiar with a design tool, gaining a qualification), then you may simply want some advice on which course / college / app to use.

Whether you ask friends, family or colleagues, be clear that you’re asking for advice, and be as specific as possible. So instead of ‘What did you think of course?’, you could ask ‘How long did it take you to qualify?’ or ‘On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate this tutor?’

You can fill specific gaps with training but you may simultaneously work with a coach or mentor on other topics or concerns.

Remember, maybe you just need a handhold…

If your colleague’s a nightmare, but not of a complain-to-your-manager level, your workload is taxing or your job is getting boring, sometimes an old-fashioned download to a friend or colleague is all that’s needed. There’s a lot to be said for the tried and tested catharsis of a good moaning session and a chance to get it all off your chest.

This can free up headspace for positive planning for what to do next, which is where working with a mentor or coach may come in. Just remember that if you demand that your pal listens to your woes – especially if that’s over Zoom rather than a bottle of wine – then you’ll be expected to do the same when it’s her turn to have a bad run at work…

Jennifer Coyle, November 2020.