Menopause Symptoms We Don’t Talk About

In talking about menopause, we frequently have conversations about the common signs and symptoms we might be experiencing, but what about those that we’d rather not talk about? For various reasons, there are certain elements we don’t bring out into the open – and this is the crux of the problem, according to Catherine O’Keeffe of wellnesswarrior.ie, an expert on all things menopausal. Below, she guides us through the things we should be talking about, even if we’d rather not.

What are the menopausal symptoms that aren't widely spoken of?

Mental health, the impact on relationships and work and vaginal atrophy. Anxiety and depression can be very severe in menopause also, and often women do not connect the mental health aspects with the falling hormones. Often, antidepressants are recommended where, in fact, falling hormone levels may contribute in part or entirely to feelings of anxiety and depression.
The impact on relationships is huge too, - on your partner and your family. Again, this isn’t openly discussed; if we chatted about menopause the same way we talk about pregnancy, it would be a different scenario. Everyone knows a pregnant woman will feel tired, but people are not openly aware of how and what a woman in menopause can feel.

If you look at workplaces, again, it’s the same – there needs to be an open conversation. I have seen many working women feel overwhelmed with the menopause challenges they have faced while trying to keep a handle on these symptoms in the workplace. And this is being done in secret as they fear co-workers will look at them differently, or judge them.

In terms of vaginal atrophy, it’s frequently referred to as a silent problem with only a quarter of women going to seek help for their symptoms which can also include pain during intercourse. Vaginal dryness is a hallmark sign of menopause, also known as atrophic vaginitis.

With this condition, vaginal tissues become thinner and more easily irritated — resulting from the natural decline in your body's oestrogen levels during menopause.

Women find it difficult to discuss this issue, even with their GP’s. They often don’t realise what they are experiencing is vaginal atrophy and not thrush. Much more education is needed in this area – and on pelvic health in general.

Do you find women can be uncomfortable speaking about particular aspects of menopause?

I think it is women generally. I recently I spoke to some fellow menopause advocates in Holland and we shared the exact same experiences of menopause across both countries, except for women in Sweden being better at discussing sexual health and issues relating to vaginal health.

Irish women struggle (as I think women do in most other countries) with talking about this symptom and I do understand that - it is very personal. Still, for our health and wellbeing, we need to be able to have that conversation with our friends, partners and families, and with our GP.

Have you come across any unexpected symptoms of menopause?

I always knew periods would change - in duration and in the actual flow. However, when I experienced really heavy periods though I was still surprised at how heavy they were. I had this for about 3-4 cycles, and a series of acupuncture worked for me, but I was literally carrying spare clothes around for those days. The heaviness some of us experience cannot be underestimated. Obviously, though this is something you should check out to rule out fibroids, severe anaemia or other health issues.

What symptoms do you feel Irish women tell you about the most?

The list is pretty long, but I’d hear about frequently:

Exhaustion, tiredness, feeling burnt out, anxiety, depression, rage and frustration, brain fog, memory and concentration, weight gain, hot flushes, night sweats, loss of libido, insomnia, migraines, aches and pains.

What would you like to see women speaking out about more when it comes to menopause?

Everything! Talk about the whole journey, all the symptoms, from the tough ones to the not so tough. We need to air it all out and open the conversation. A key part of this is the campaign started last year with Uplift (Ireland’s largest campaigning community connecting people to take action for a better Ireland) and the #MakeMenopauseMatterIreland Campaign (an extension of Diane Danzebrink’s UK campaign) here in Ireland. In them lies the foundation for the future of menopause in Ireland, from GP training in medical school, menopause on the SPHE curriculum and menopause in the workplace. We have a long road ahead, but thankfully more and more people are starting to open the conversation, and I always say ‘every conversation is a stepping stone to change.’

What do you feel needs to be done to aid women going through menopause in Ireland?

Where to start! Some days I think we are making progress, then after a day chatting to women you can feel deflated knowing we have still have a long way to go. We have to start informing people about menopause - this needs to be a national campaign.

I am hoping the Women’s Taskforce started by the Department of Health will address this. Women should have a health check in their mid-40’s to assess issues, from a breast check, cervical check, vaginal/pelvic check, bone health check and blood. As I mentioned above, last year, I started the #MakeMenopauseMatterIreland Campaign here in Ireland and in that lies the foundation for the future of menopause in Ireland.

And also, look at Michelle Obama’s recent podcast. A woman like Michelle talking about menopause does so much for us all – and that podcast went viral in minutes of it being released. It’s so empowering to see her tackle this subject openly - we need more women singing from the same hymn sheet.

And uninhibited to do so.

What menopause symptoms would you like to see being spoken about more?
Tell us in the comments below…