11 minute read time

I came across filmmaker, photographer and yoga teacher, Marion Bergin on Instagram. This is the way I have found most of the interesting people I now know from the platform, some of whom now write for Heyday, after we became digital friends first. Or, as I prefer to say, ‘not-yet-real-life-friends’, because they will be real-life friends soon, hopefully. I was drawn to Marion for several reasons; her creativity and aesthetic were instantly appealing to me, as are her interest in yoga and the sea - two loves of my own - but I felt something else from her, something deeper. I watched a talk she gave with Creative Mornings and found both her professional and personal story and overall attitude to life so interesting. We commented and DM’d sporadically on Instagram over many months before I asked her if she would do this piece with me. Digital life might merge with real-life eventually, and soon there will be more from her here on Heyday, but for now, please meet Marion Bergin, a woman truly in her heyday…

Which three adjectives describe you best?

Open, Creative, Friendly.

What is on your mind most these days?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

What is the last thing that you said no to?

I’ve been approached twice in the last week to direct music videos and said no to both.

What is the last thing you said yes to?

Writing this!

What made you decide to do what you are now doing in your life?

Leaning into what makes my heart sing.

How many things have you been in your life so far?

Jewellery designer, Accessories buyer, Fashion buyer, MD and Creative Director of a fashion label, Stylist, Art Director, Marketing Manager. Currently a brand consultant/Creative Director and photographer/director. Yoga and meditation teacher.

Where do you come into your family, and did this have any influence on you?

I am the eldest. I think it made me a bit rebellious so I fought hard to pave my way and really pushed the boundaries - I still do - I think there’s always more pressure on the eldest to achieve so it made me very ambitious.

Are you where you wanted to be at this stage in your life?

No, I’m not, life looked very different when I was growing up as a teen, but the life I was looking up at was a life defined by societal norms and as I’ve gotten older I’ve got a much clearer picture of what my norms are.

What is the best, and worst piece of advice you have received in your life so far?

Best: ‘Make fixing yourself your biggest success’ - it has been.

Worst: ‘Wanna take a blow of this” - cue panic attack.

What does midlife feel like to you?

It’s liberating to do whatever I want. I’ve worked hard to get here and I won’t give that up.

Is there something you have dreamt of doing for a long time?

Yes, moving my photography and directing work into an art practice. Currently developing two fine art photography projects and getting more experimental with film making.

Has there been a place, event, or experience that has transformed you or given you a new perspective?

Well, I lost my fiancé five years ago, a year before we were due to marry and that literally made my world stop spinning. I took time out to grow and learn and fix my mental health which had always been frisky. I’ve spent the last five years self-learning and biohacking. I feel that in losing my partner he left me one final gift and I will be forever grateful for the opportunity that was given to me to set myself with a more stable playing field for the second half of my life.

People talk a lot about pivoting these days, of all the 'switches' you've made or recommend, which has been the most powerful change for you personally?

Moving back towards pure creativity as a film-maker and photographer. Also, training as a yoga teacher just feels very free.

Is there a milestone you are working towards in your personal or professional life at the moment?

I really want to get a country house, a place of joy in support of better work and a better life where I can hold creative residencies and retreats.

Do you feel your creativity is surging or sinking in midlife?

Surging off the charts. I’m secure financially so I’m just doing what I love and saying no feels powerful.

How do you think the world of work can improve for women?

Well, I can only speak for my area but I never thought I was a ‘female’ fashion designer. I only became a ‘female’ when I moved into directing and photography and there’s definitely a gender bias in terms of championing men. I personally work to create more opportunities for female talent on my crews. It’s really important to stand in our roles as leaders and see how we can lead by example.

What do you spend too much time doing? And what do you spend too little doing?

Too much time thinking - constantly trying to switch that one-off, hence the yoga and meditation.

Too little time dating but that’s a whole other story.

How do you care for your own wellbeing?

I meditate every day. I also keep an eye on myself when in production too, so if I can feel my anxiety climbing I'll do Yin Yoga. I’m also mindful of what I eat and drink and how that affects me. I’m a sensitive creature with a very reactionary nervous system that needs constant managing. I think it comes from wild creativity. I spend a lot of time minding that and grounding it so I don’t get overwhelmed when I’m on big deadlines.

What do you feel free of now that you are at this life stage?

I’m depression-free. I was plagued for the first half of my life, I literally thought I was bi-polar, but I’ve been free of it for two years now and that feels very liberating.

What gives you the most stress at this life stage?

Starting to date again, finding a partner. I’m happily single and not in a rush but I’d love to meet someone.

Do you sleep well?

No. I’m that person that wakes up seven times a night. I’ve always been that way.

What advice would you offer to yourself in your 20’s, 30’s and 40’s?

20’s: Commit to yoga and meditation and party less.

30’s: It’s ok to be yourself.

40’s: You’re doing great. I’m currently 42.

Did you ever feel lost in your life path? How did you find your way again?

I was running a successful fashion brand in London and I closed it. I felt like I’d built something that didn’t reflect who I was inside and I had a real disconnect with what I was doing. Finding my way was hard but it took a lot of healing and self-work and listening. It started with tuning into aesthetics and things that gave me joy and just felt right.

What do you love about yourself?

I really like who I am now, I’m much more nurturing. I’m kinder than I was when I ran a fashion label - in fashion, there’s a real "Devil Wears Prada” persona and I guess I was sort of like that. I’ve had to de-condition to realise that it was a patriarchal informed leadership style and we can lead with grace and power in equal amounts without being a walkover. I’m really happy with my body, and I love my hair.

When do you feel truly alive?

When I’m swimming in the sea and directing or taking pictures.

What do you consider your biggest achievement?

Fixing my depression and getting my anxiety under control.

What was a major turning point in your life?

When I lost my fiancé. My whole life changed direction. To give you an idea I was running a brand called "Bitching and Junkfood” and I now have a consultancy called “The Nice Things”. Says it all really doesn’t it?

What are you looking forward to?

Going horse riding.

Are you a good friend?

I’d hope so. I make friends very easily and I give good advice. I’m a keeper of many many secrets.

What in life is beautiful to you? Where do you find inspiration?

Nature, flowers, trees, birds, dogs. I feel a real connection to the natural world.

Any regrets?

I generally say, “You only regret the things in life you haven’t done.”

What are you afraid of?

Heights.

Knowing what you know now, what is most important in life?

Family and friends. And creativity; I just feel it’s the easiest method of communication for me.

Favourite book, and why?

The Universe has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein. This just brings me a lot of comfort when things are uncertain.

Favourite piece of music, and why?

Nils Frahm - La. As a filmmaker, I’ve learned how important music is in telling a story. I just think this is the most beautiful piece of music ever written. It just expresses the meaning of life to me.

Last time you cried (tears of joy count!)

I cried when my film Saoirse premiered on Nowness. I had a viewing party with my family. It marked the end of a very difficult phase of my life and was dedicated to my fiancé. Nobody had to say anything but we all knew what I’d been through and how important it was to me as a piece of work.

How do you draw on your own inner strength and creativity?

People tell me I’m strong and I never really feel strong, I just go on as best I can. I don’t let fear hold me back. My creativity is like an amazing friend who’s also really annoying and constantly at you to do new stuff, with bigger ideas and to push push push so I have to put boundaries in there to manage all that. The creativity is an Icelandic hot spring really so I never have to think hard to access it.

What are your feelings on this new Covid world we find ourselves in now?

I’ll be honest, it’s been really really hard because I was ready to fully ‘get going’ with my new life after a five year period where I lost a fiancé and a father. When Covid hit it just felt like another tidal wave and I really struggled with it because I felt like I deserved to have a couple of years free of torment and difficulty. I also believe that everything happens for a reason and it’s given me time to figure out what my boundaries are in the working world. I’ve found the film industry here a bit ‘moody’ and negative and I want to effect change. I truly believe that nothing’s a problem and everything is sort-outable and that friendly approachable vibe is what I bring into my brand consultancy and film/photography work.

“We just need more fun and joy”

— marion bergin

I directed a TV commercial for Safe Ireland before Christmas on Coercive Control and it was a very tough one to direct because of the subject matter. I had my producer brief the entire crew about the atmosphere I wanted on set and my style as a director and it was just brilliant - the AD asked me if it was ok to ‘push’ when we were under pressure. I don’t know if that would have been as well-received pre-Covid. I think we’ve all suffered in some way through it so kindness is a more important value to uphold now.