The spirit of authenticity, broadcaster and children’s book author, Lucy Kennedy, is one of Ireland’s most loved women in the public eye. Her warm charm, wit and curiosity endears her to everyone she meets and she has a natural knack of being able to make anyone feel comfortable, thus encouraging them to lower their boundaries and be real with her - the best trait of a broadcaster. In a beautifully personal Q&A, here she reveals her view on life in midlife…

WHICH THREE ADJECTIVES DESCRIBE YOU BEST?

I think that I am fun, emotional and hardworking.

I work really really hard as a lot of people do but I love it, which helps. In fact, I really, really love what I do and I don’t for a second take it for granted. I’ve worked since I was fifteen and I’ll never stop. I am very emotional since becoming a mum and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m not a teary person, but I could probably cry on demand if asked!! And I think that I’m fun. I have a silly sense of humour and I’m always laughing. I enjoy a night out and am partial to a shot at the end of a party! I also always look for the gag if there is one!!!

WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND MOST THESE DAYS?

On my mind at the moment, is trying to lose weight. I’m back filming and I have a stubborn eight pounds that I can’t lose. I treated the lockdown like Christmas and I’m paying for it now. It’s not a lot to gain but it does affect me when my clothes are uncomfortable because I feel permanently bloated. It actually gets me a bit down, to be honest. I don’t know whether it’s my bladder, an ulcer, gluten intolerance, wine or just being forty-four.

WHAT IS THE LAST THING THAT YOU SAID NO TO?

I said no today! No to filming with a public figure that I feel doesn’t deserve a platform. I have been down that road before with a certain English celebrity/ journalist and am in no rush to do it again. Once was enough.

WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU SAID YES TO?

Now I say yes a lot. I find it hard to say no. Deep down, as tough as I pretend to be, I have a very soft side and I like to make people happy. I’ve just said yes to Holly (8) getting a Descendants costume from the UK because she told me that it would make her life! More fool me. Instant regret when the total cost came up.

WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO DO WHAT YOU ARE NOW DOING IN YOUR LIFE?

Quite simply, my love of people. I genuinely and honestly love people. All people, any people. I have a natural curiosity and a nosiness in my nature. Talking to people is my passion. It makes sense to get paid to do something that you do naturally. Maeve Binchy once said ‘Write what you know’.
I say ‘Do what you know’.

HOW MANY THINGS HAVE YOU BEEN IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR?

I have been a verrrrrrrry chubby baby, a cheeky child, a grumpy teenager, an au pair, a mushroom picker, an air hostess, a merchandiser, a sales rep, a runner, a production assistant, a researcher, a production coordinator, A TV presenter, a radio presenter and a mum. My last job is by far my favourite.

WHERE DO YOU COME IN YOUR FAMILY, AND DID THIS HAVE ANY INFLUENCE ON YOU?

I am the middle child. The middle of three girls. Yes, I definite have ‘middle child’ syndrome and I can already see it in my own daughter. We have fierce independence and compassion. Apparently we are stubborn but I don’t think that it’s a bad thing if you truly believe that you are right! I can spot a middle child anywhere.

ARE YOU WHERE YOU WANTED TO BE AT THIS STAGE IN YOUR LIFE?

Yes, I am. Thank God. I am very much where I wanted to be. I have three healthy children, a husband that I love, and I job that I still enjoy. I have no regrets, so far. Body wise I would’ve hoped to have been in better shape but you can’t have everything! I blame wine so I’ve given it up Monday - Friday.

WHAT IS THE BEST, AND WORST PIECE OF ADVICE YOU HAVE RECEIVED IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR?

I’ve never listened to bad advice, to be honest. I’ve always dismissed it quickly and gone with my gut. I really believe in your gut feelings. The best piece of advice I was given was as a child, to treat people how you’d like to be treated. Simple but true. I will always try and live by that.

WHAT DOES MIDLIFE FEEL LIKE TO YOU?

Exhausting! I’m tired a lot these days. Is that midlife? I’m forty-four now (even though I feel twenty-four maturity-wise) and I am tired. Always talking about sleep, wanting to sleep, trying to sleep, not getting enough sleep, planning to sleep. I’m actually sleep-obsessed but maybe that’s because I work on breakfast radio. I’m a busy person, at times overwhelmed and chasing my tail, and always complaining to anyone who’ll listen to me about feeling tired!

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU DREAMT OF DOING FOR A LONG TIME?

Motherhood. I have always loved children and hoped and planned to have them but I genuinely didn’t expect to love it as much as I do, deeply. I was never selfish, it’s not in my nature, but I’m surprised at how quickly I adapted to becoming number two forever! I put our three first before everything. Myself, work, everything and rightly so.

what do you spend too much time doing?

I spend too much time looking at other people’s lives on Instagram. I don’t want anyone else’s life, I’m just nosy and intrigued. I am the first person to give out and moan about Instagram being fake and people only living their ‘best-lives’ but it’s addictive. An hour could pass and I wouldn’t notice. I’m stopping it. Not good for my eyes so I’m going back to reading in bed.

what do you spend too little time doing?

I spend too little time actually spending time with myself. I walk occasionally around the block, talking to myself but since lockdown, I can’t go to my yoga class so I’m spending time with everybody else but not with me. I should work on my time management which is currently appalling!!

What is the difference you see in yourself in midlife?

Now that I’m mid-forties, I care less what people think about me. When I say that, I don’t mean it in a flippant way; I will try initially to be liked and make an effort, but if I don’t succeed, then I don’t care anymore. I see it as the other person’s loss. I used to care, it used to get to me a lot, so I don’t know whether it’s since becoming a mum eleven years ago, or whether it’s an age thing. Equally though, I have become more selective in who I spend time with as time is just so precious these days with a chaotic life. I follow my gut with people and haven’t been wrong, so far...

WHAT GIVES YOU THE MOST STRESS AT THIS LIFE STAGE?

Money stresses me. Mortgage repayments, Tax, VAT, pension, life, all things financially related. It gives me a nosebleed and a headache. It’s probably because I am not good with it. I’ve been self-employed for the last sixteen years and I still haven’t learnt! In one hand comes the cheque and it goes out immediately in the other.

DO YOU SLEEP WELL?

I sleep well generally, but at the moment I’m not. I don’t know whether it’s all the madness happening in the world, with the pandemic but I’m tossing and turning a bit and waking up to go the loo. So annoying, but my bladder isn’t great anymore having carried three big babies. I then lie in bed trying to go back to sleep and sometimes struggle to switch off. I’m thinking about death a lot because of all of the stories on the news.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU OFFER TO YOURSELF IN YOUR younger years?

I would tell my younger self not to panic. In my late 20’s I started my career in telly. I worked behind the cameras and scenes for years, working my way up and had no interest in getting in front of the camera. I was freelance and went from job to job, then on the dole, off the dole for a few years. I worried the whole time. I’m a Taurus so I need security which the job couldn’t give me. I would tell that girl now to chill and keep following that path because eventually all of her hard work would pay off.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF?

I love my love for people. I love that I am fearless when it comes to strangers or celebrities or whoever, I don’t care. I have inner bravery that makes me believe that I can talk to anyone! It comes from my mum. She’s the same. Her love of people makes her fearless. I love that about her.

WHEN DO YOU FEEL TRULY ALIVE?

I feel truly alive waking down Dun Laoghaire pier on a crisp bright morning with a takeaway coffee in my hand after receiving good news. That, or when my kids are in bed asleep!

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT?

I’m not going to say my children. That’s a guarantee being a parent! I’m going to say holding down a job still after being on the telly for years and especially now. I’ve had, and hopefully will have, longevity with my career. So far, thank God, people aren’t sick of me! I think that it’s because I’ve always remained true to myself, I’ve always been honest and worked hard. I think by just simply being yourself, it pays off eventually.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO IN THE COMING MONTHS?

We are currently in the process of buying a house. I won’t relax until the sale has closed. That’s when I can breathe and break out the bubbles. I’m really looking forward to renovating it bit by bit as it’s a complete doer-upper and my idea of heaven. I love painting, fixing and bargains. I will marry Dermot Bannon in my next life because it makes sense.

ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND?

I think that I’m a good friend. I am loyal to the death. When the sh*t hits the fan, you can call me. I’ll be there. It’s my one ask in my friends too as loyalty is everything to me. I’ve had the same friends for thirty years and I adore them. I need them. I’m a girl’s girl, having sisters only, so I get women and I will put us before any man, hands down. My pals are great craic, we all love a night out and equally a good cry. My very best friend, Vicky, is like my sister. We’ve been solid since the age of thirteen and I would honestly be lost without her.

WHAT IN LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL TO YOU? WHERE DO YOU FIND INSPIRATION?

I find inspiration in my children. They are ten (Jack), eight (Holly) and three (Jess). All very different in character and personality and I just love being around them. They inspired me to write my two Friendship Fairy children’s books because I started to look at their world through their eyes. I think that children are very powerful. Their views are simple and always from the heart. We as adults, could and should learn so much from them, as they see life through an easier lens.

LAST TIME YOU CRIED (TEARS OF JOY COUNT!)

I am emotional but I don’t cry a lot. Last time that I cried was a couple of weeks ago when I read the devastating story about the two children and their dad who drowned in Donegal. It was at 6.15am in our kitchen and my heart actually ached for their mother. I sobbed quietly. It really really affected me. That mother must be going through sheer hell. I often think about her.

HOW DO YOU DRAW ON YOUR OWN INNER STRENGTH?

I work well stressed and in a panic! I’m trained I suppose with live telly. It’s huge pressure for a short period. I also have deadlines with most of my work so I’m used to having to step up and perform under pressure. I wrote my last children’s book in three weeks! I am disciplined in the sense that when I have to be creative, I make myself do it. I go for walk to calm my nerves and think clearly. I need to be alone for that process though or else I’ll get snappy. I could need a two-hour walk, usually taking to myself (people must think that I’m the local weirdo) and then I breathe and make a plan. I’m a planner. I write everything down and then tick it off.

WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THIS NEW WORLD WE FIND OURSELVES IN NOW?

Life in this pandemic has without a shadow of a doubt, slowed me down and I’m glad. I don’t remember turning 43 or being 43, that’s how hard I worked for that year. No joke. I am self-employed so I took on everything and everything lasted for those 12 months. Looking back I don’t know how I did it. Now I see life more clearly. I know what matters, I know what I need, and I know when to say no. I know that my family is, and always will be, my world and once they are safe and happy, anything else is just a bonus. It really is. Slowing down and looking around me properly has definitely helped me see things more clearly, and I’m happy.

Lucy Kennedy in conversation with Ellie Balfe, September 2020.