11 minute read time

Terri is one of those people who lights up a room. I did her makeup for her on her wedding day and it was the only time to see her in a neutral, muted tone! Her personal style is eye-catching, her enthusiasm for colour is contagious and, quite frankly, delightfully mood-enhancing! Here, she tells us of her life in midlife….

Which three adjectives describe you best?

Colourful, optimistic, quirky.

What is on your mind most these days?

Covid. When will I be allowed to see colour clients again? And when will the bars, hotels, and restaurants be allowed to open?

What is the last thing that you said no to?

I just said no to a Moscow Mule. Difficult as our Poachers ginger beer is delicious with vodka.

What is the last thing you said yes to?

I said yes to one tomorrow instead.

How old are you?

Forty-seven.

What made you decide to do what you are now doing in your life?

I studied psychology and organisational psychology in London and went into HR and Learning and Development. But in the back of my mind, I also always wanted to do something creative. I went back to my job after my first child was born but my husband was subsequently offered a job in Ireland and we decided to move back while I was pregnant with the second. Being at home with the kids and the distance from my job gave me the space to think about whether I was fulfilled and what I might do next.

I always loved fashion and studied personal styling in Dublin and travelled to London to study Colour Analysis. I worked as a stylist and fashion stylist but due to my psychology background preferred the one on one and human connection you get with personal styling and colour analysis. I also joined my long term friend Brendan Colbert in Poachers Drinks as Creative Director two years ago. I have missed my Colour Analysis clients during Covid but have been kept very busy with Poachers Drinks.

How many things have you been in your life so far? (outline the path)

I have been a waiter, Promotions girl, Bartender, Host of the London Eye before it was automated, HR business partner, Learning and Development consultant, Stylist, Colour Analyst, Creative Director.

Where do you come in your family, and did this have any influence on you?

Eldest. My brother is four years younger so we were always at different stages in life growing up and rarely played together and had different sets of friends. The gap becomes shorter as you get older and we are now finally both at the same life stage so have more in common.

Are you where you wanted to be at this stage in your life?

Yes, I would say I am satisfied with where I am right now. I always wanted to be a mum and have a dog and now I am a human and dog mama. Strangely never dreamt of marriage but that has been very satisfying too! I am a glass-half-full person which helps with the satisfaction levels.

What is the best piece of advice you have received in your life so far?

‘If you always do what you always did you’ll always get what you always got.’ So, if you want a different result do something different! I am good at filtering out bad advice.

What does midlife feel like to you?

Liberating - great to care less about what others think. Midlife is less about fitting in and more about being happy in our own skin. And finally making peace with that skin. Creaky – I have the aches and pains that come with age especially when I try to do something I used to do easily. Taking my life into my own hands with a cartwheel these days. I think my hips will definitely be the first to go!

Is there something you have dreamt of doing for a long time?

I loved studying psychology and always had Cognitive Behavioural Therapist on my long term career development plan when running Executive Development Programmes. I would still like to do this 10/20 years from now but am in no rush. The wisdom that comes with age is a huge advantage for a therapist.

Has there been a place, event, or experience that has transformed you or given you a new perspective?

Living in France and going to an international school from age 13 to 18 opened my eyes and mind to different nationalities, cultures, and religions that I would not have been exposed to in 1980s/90s rural Ireland. This also made me more curious about people and drew me to the field of psychology.

Living in London in my 20s and 30s had a similar effect. It is also where I indulged my love of fashion and colour. We lived right by Portobello market and London markets are a feast for the eyes.

Is there a milestone you are working towards in your personal or professional life at the moment?

I would really like to take up the piano again before I’m 50. I used to play to Grade 7 level but gave it up after we moved to France aged 13 as an hour of music theory in French once a week slowly ate away my enjoyment.

Do you feel your creativity is surging or sinking in midlife?

I have definitely felt a creative surge since hitting my 40s. I had less opportunity to express myself creatively in my 20s and 30s as I was on a different path professionally. Then I expressed myself through my clothes as I always loved fashion. Since shifting my career towards styling, colour analysis and creative direction with Poachers Drinks, I have had the opportunity to express myself creatively through my work.

What do you spend too much time doing? And what do you spend too little doing?

Too much time adding colour to my house. Too little time tidying it!

How do you care for your own wellbeing?

I try to switch off from work at the weekends but it’s not easy when running a business. I feel a lot better when I exercise but that has been sporadic over the last 12 months. Chatting and walking with friends is always good for the soul. Getting tipsy with them too is always cathartic.

What do you feel free of now that you are at this life stage?

Hair dye. I transitioned my hair to my natural grey a few years ago and have never looked back. I started going grey when I was in my late teens so had spent 30 years plus being mortified by my greys. My hair is now my favourite feature. There is a lesson here somewhere.

What gives you the most stress at this life stage?

Covid – my optimistic outlook is hanging on by a thread.

Do you sleep well?

Yes. Apparently, I sleep like a hog. But lately, I’ve been waking up at 5 am if I drink even one glass of wine.

Do you take any supplements or HRT?

I take a Bone Support supplement as I had borderline osteopenia reading on a bone scan a few years ago. It has now reversed thankfully. I do not take HRT but would definitely take it if needed in the future.

What advice would you offer to yourself in your 20's, 30's and 40's?

20s: Party less

30s: Party less

40s: Party more!

Did you ever feel lost in your life path? How did you find your way again?

I felt a little lost after having my first child in London. The responsibility of looking after another human was overwhelming and I lost my identity for a while. Having a bad sleeper didn’t help.

Interestingly, from a colour-psychology perspective, I dressed in much darker colours around then reflecting my darker mood. I settled into my role as a mum after about a year, rediscovered my love of clothes and brought some cheerful colour back into my life.

What do you love about yourself?

My optimism and hair.

When do you feel truly alive?

When I’m snowboarding down a deserted mountain in the winter sun. But also by having a good belly laugh… anywhere.

What do you consider your biggest achievement?

My children.

What are you looking forward to?

People-watching in a foreign city.

Are you a good friend?

I hope so – friendship is important to me.

What in life is beautiful to you? Where do you find inspiration?

Words, colour, music, nature.

Any regrets?

After this year, I regret not travelling more!

What are you afraid of?

Losing the people I love. And I also have an irrational fear of frogs.

Knowing what you know now, what is most important in life?

Time is definitely what is most important in life… time spent enjoying the company of family and friends, and time spent doing things you love.

Favourite book, and why?

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry – I read it first as a teenager in French and reread it several times since. I love the poetic prose and the messages running through it ‘It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential to the invisible eye.’

Favourite piece of music, and why?

Better by Tom Baxter – the first dance at our wedding.

Last time you cried (tears of joy count!)

Watching Grayson’s Art Club. It’s very moving to see people interpreting everyday life in lockdown through art.

How do you draw on your own inner strength and creativity?

I draw on my creativity by walking without my phone and headphones and absorbing the world around me.

What are your feelings on this new Covid world we find ourselves in now?

Hmmm, so many feelings! Generally, I feel that this has been a tough year psychologically for everyone. Everyone’s baseline stress levels are definitely higher. We need to be mindful of this in our everyday interactions.

Are you fulfilled?

Yes, at this moment in time as I sit in my kitchen office with the dog sleeping under my chair and pondering painting the utility door pink, I definitely feel fulfilled.