11 minute read time

Ruth Monahan is a woman who puts beauty into the world. As the woman behind the beautiful blooms and botanicals business, Appassionata Flowers, she is the creative visionary behind many of the most striking florals in the country, be they in hotels, at events, in bouquets in houses or turning heads in people’s arms whilst walking down streets. Ruth recently created a book entitled Bláthanna: Irish Spaces in Flower, fulfilling another of her creative visions - to see the Irish countryside dressed with almost guerilla-style florals. Again, placing beauty for all to see. Beauty for beauty’s sake…
I heard Ruth speak at an event pre-Covid time and I was struck by her wisdom about her life, it was that now-familiar to me attitude of a woman in her midlife - one with stories to tell and plans afoot - a particular sort of energy. Here she tells of her life in her heyday…

Which three adjectives describe you best?

Curious, compassionate, creative.

What is on your mind most these days?

Do we have enough milk in the fridge?! Joking – although the constant thinking about having enough food at home to keep up with the catering is real. I am trying to make sure we are all as healthy as possible at home, and then trying to see how holistically the flower world can improve its sustainability and also make our business, Appassionata Flowers as sustainable as it can possibly be.

What is the last thing that you said no to?

To my daughter Maya who is 12 with a new phone who texted to see if she could stay out later… Gosh, this teenage time will be full of that, I need to train harder at saying no as I am terrible at it.

What is the last thing you said yes to?

I agreed to train for a 10k run at a fast pace as something to strive for. I used to run them all the time in my twenties.

How old are you?

47 and three weeks!

What made you decide to do what you are now doing in your life?

I was always into making and doing and always loved working with my hands. My love of flowers and all things garden was always there so I started flower school at the age of thirty.

How many things have you been in your life so far?

Daughter, sister, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, babysitter, velvet hat maker, waitress, baker, promotions girl. In television: a production assistant, research, production manager, interactive TV producer, then fashion store manager, florist, mother, writer, brand creator.

Where do you come in your family, and did this have any influence on you?

I am the oldest of seven, our parents had four of us close together and after an 8-year break, they had three more so my youngest brother is 16 years younger than me, I have two sisters and four brothers so yes, the amount of siblings definitely has influenced me. I am very protective of my own mug of tea in case someone else robs it, probably talk over people in an effort to get heard and I have a very practical approach to being a Mum. I have two kids of my own, Maya who is 12, and Roman who is 10. My teenage and twenties were filled with babysitting and always having a small child around. But it is mad how the gap closes as you age and so interesting to see what all of us have become and are becoming.

What is the best, and worst piece of advice you have received in your life so far?

The best pieces of advice include: Never judge anyone by how they are dressed or how moody they may seem, no one ever knows who people are and what is going on in their lives. This is very important advice when you are a business and a retail owner to always give love and light, empathy and sympathy, and treat people as you would like to be treated yourself. Also, another nugget is that people aren’t telepathic so you need to communicate if you need something done rather than imagining in your head that someone can read your thoughts.

What does midlife feel like to you?

It feels strange to call these years midlife as in my head I still think I am in my mid-thirties! I hit menopause early which certainly brought midlife into my life with a bang, but now I am sanguine about it and I try to make the most of each day with the current small horizons we are living with.

image from ‘Bláthanna: Irish Spaces in Flower’

Is there something you have dreamt of doing for a long time?

I constantly dream and think. I would love to write more, create a really interesting flower and gardening show that could really educate children and adults about nature and native Ireland countryside and my obsession with ceramics constantly makes me think about studying the craft as a hobby.

Has there been an experience that has transformed you or given you a new perspective?

The last year is my obvious answer and yes that has made me change a lot of my perspective. However, I definitely think my last miscarriage and then recurrent bouts of severe bronchitis made me sit and think about what I should or shouldn’t be doing. Thankfully I have been well over the last year and I would say that much of that is because I live life in a much slower lane than before.

Do you feel your creativity is surging or sinking in midlife?

Before I discovered that I was perimenopausal and in the early part of menopause, I was constantly exhausted and as a result, my creativity was diminishing – then the rollercoaster of closing the studio and shop, making amazing people redundant, and having to clear out spaces took up any room a creative thought could be in but happily, in the last few months, I have come through the tunnel and am starting to drive both work and my family mad with my constant ideas.

How do you think the world of work can improve for women?

I have always been blessed to work in creative environments where women had more flexible working conditions, I don’t know how working mums in corporate environments do it. I do think that there needs to be much more flexibility in the workplace for women be they going through perimenopause, missing sleep, trying for children, trying to work with children whether they are toddlers or teenagers. I think also that event organisation when it returns ranging from launches, talks, classes should have a more suitable approach to women as it is very pressurising for women to try and attend or work at events at dawn or late evening especially with children.

What do you spend too much time doing? And what do you spend too little doing?

I spend far too much time worrying and getting stuck in the terrible clutches of anxiety. I try to meditate and exercise to expel it. I spend too little time taking time for myself and minding my hands, they are wrecked after so many years in flowers.

How do you care for your own wellbeing?

I go for daily walks by the sea with our dog Ella, run and do yoga. I love being up by dawn and being out and about before most people have woken up. Seeing a beautiful sunrise over the sea gives you such a good day ahead. I grew up in a field from the sea in Sligo and I have to see the sea daily.

What do you feel free of now that you are at this life stage?

What I do love about this stage is that I am so much more content in my own thoughts and opinions and I have lost any care of what people think…mostly!

What gives you the most stress at this life stage?

I think that the last year definitely provided so much stress as we had to make such big decisions about our business so quickly but now I try to think of each day as one with a small horizon and try not to let stress overtake any situation that can arise.

Do you sleep well?

I would sleep quite well, I have banned social media and screen watching in bed and it makes such a difference to my sleep. Also, going back to reading in bed and not watching the evening news makes every night’s sleep better.

Do you take any supplements or HRT?

I am on HRT which has been very positive for me. I also take a number of supplements all of which tell me they will boost me, give me great skin, make my mind marvelous, and generally jazz up my immune system. Here’s hoping.

Did you ever feel lost in your life path? How did you find your way again?

I definitely felt a bit lost in my twenties, I had achieved a lot in college and then was fortunate to start working in television straight away. However, I didn’t have enough confidence in myself at the time. It was only by going away travelling and gaining more perspective that I realised that I wanted to create work that was imaginative and beautiful through flowers. My thirties passed in a blur of work and kids and the forties seem to be meandering along, each year very different from the one before.

What do you love about yourself?

I am very impetuous and I love jumping into a good idea. I am also very stimulated by design in every way, from every day to the ethereal.

When do you feel truly alive?

I feel truly alive when I still try to surf and get pummelled by the wave set I missed.

What do you consider your biggest achievement?

I am still married with kids and work. Ultan is a saint, I would say I drive him mad, we are together 22 years and married 15, he knows me since we were teenagers and we still have a great relationship most of the rollercoaster time.

Appassionata is also a big huge achievement, I have been blessed to work with amazingly talented florists & team members to create beautiful work for so many people in all of the areas of the circle of life. It was also such an achievement to create our book ‘Bláthanna: Irish Spaces in Flower’ with Kasia and Ultan and it was shot by my sister Yvette and her husband Seán. We all felt very proud of ourselves when it was published.

What are you looking forward to?

I am daydreaming of being on the Greek Islands I love, bathing in the aquamarine sea, eating the food there & feeling the heat. I cannot wait to go soon however long soon it will be.

Are you a good friend?

I try to be. I am blessed to have good friends from all parts of my life dating from childhood to my forties and I can’t wait to see most of them soon – not seeing friends over the last year due to where we live and restrictions have been hard, I miss them. Thankfully I have been able to meet some for walking talking times and that has been a welcome godsend.

What in life is beautiful to you? Where do you find inspiration?

I feel lucky to work in blooms and botanicals and I feel surrounded by beauty each day. I get to experience the seasons and so many colours through flowers and plants, even today, we had a new type of clematis hellebores and the way the petals unfurled on each was truly amazing. I also love the way that you can plant a tiny tuber and you get to experience each part of that flowering plant's life. I worry about my garden as much as my kids, especially with last year's arrival of our beagle Ella who loves nothing more than digging up all I plant and mind!

Any regrets?

I regret letting anxiety overtake me in certain situations.

What are you afraid of?

I am afraid of being buried alive, I think I have become a bit claustrophobic in my forties. I used to dive but I don’t think I could cope being so far down anymore so I will stick to snorkeling for now.

Knowing what you know now, what is most important in life?

I think being kind and making the best of each day and then move on if that day didn’t work exactly.

Favourite book, and why?

I love Stoner by John Williams for its melancholy, loneliness, and evocative writing. I also loved Beatlebone by Kevin Barry, I adore how he plays with words and Elena Ferrante kept me busy for months a few years ago, I am thinking of reading them all again.

Favourite piece of music, and why?

I am one of those people who love music in so many forms, listen to it constantly but can never remember the names of songs or lyrics. Currently, my favourites would include Villagers ‘Trick of the Light’, Radiohead ‘House of Cards’, actually the In Rainbows album is an amazing thing, As is their track Daydreaming in A Moonshaped Pool. And the Italian composer Ludovico Einaudi decided to go on a series of walks in The Alps and created music based on what he saw. A favourite is ‘Golden Butterflies’. I also love a good tune to bring me back to dancing all night in Dublin’s clubs in my twenties.

Last time you cried (tears of joy count!)

I cried today because I dropped a ceramic roasting tray on my toes and I cry with happiness every time my kids give me one of their made cards with poems and messages inside. I cry at every sad part of a film even at the terrible teen dramas I watch with Maya on the couch.

How do you draw on your own inner strength and creativity?

I have a notebook and write in it each morning when I wake. It is the best thing for my mind and calms both me and my creative ideas of that night or day.

What are your feelings on this new Covid world we find ourselves in now?

I feel that we will all emerge from this period blinking into the light as we leave a dark tunnel. I do hope that life doesn’t start to speed and spin again and I really hope that we are all more holistic and sustainable in our approach to life, each other, and the environment. I can’t wait to hug my folks and my granny too & have a normal meet-up with friends for fun.

Are you fulfilled?

I think I can never be fully fulfilled as a person as that would mean that I would have to stop thinking about ideas and wondering what I can do next.