To say that 2020 has been challenging feels like a massive understatement. But, there are glimmers of hope on the horizon. The rollout of vaccines is starting and Christmas is near, allowing us time to rest and rejuvenate with (at least some of) our loved ones. We are nearly at the finish line of year we are happy to let go of. So, with a renewed sense of optimism around us, how can we be sure we end the year on a high note, mentally and physically? We spoke to Yoga Teacher, Fitness Trainer and Wellness Advocate, Liz Costigan and Fiona Brennan of The Positive Habit for advice on how you can do just that.

Start with Self-care

Liz starts by explaining that while this festive season is more restricted in terms of who we can meet and see, it’s still vital to take time out for you to find joy in the little things that can make you happy.

“Self-care is about YOU. In order to know what you need it's important to slow down and take time every day in stillness and silence to ask yourself How am I? What can I do to support myself today? The answer might be "I need more rest", it could be "I need some time in nature", or maybe you need a day in town surrounded by the buzz of the festive season. I think the first and most vital step in cultivating a supportive self-care practice is taking time for you first thing. If you can find even 10 minutes to yourself in the morning to check in with yourself I believe you can set yourself up for a more conscious, mindful day,” she explained.

“Self-care looks different on everyone, for some it might be a cup of tea and a good book, for someone else it might be a sweaty spin class. It doesn't matter, what's important is that it supports you physically, emotionally and mentally.”

Personal Reflection

As ever, reflection is a vital component as we start to move forward into 2021. “At the end of the year, I like to look back on the previous 12 months and pick out the highlights or a memorable moment and just reflect. I'll look at each month and remember, cherish and if needed; let go. I think this is the perfect way to prepare for a new year filled with opportunity and potentiality.”

Fiona echoes this sentiment and says that mental growth starts when we take in learnings about ourselves, especially following a tough year. “Even if you were to take three things that you learned about yourself – I think the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important. What three things have you learned about yourself during the whole Covid experience, and if you rewind back to December 2019, what would you discover? If we don’t do that, we’re not growing.”

Gratitude

Fiona explains that easing an anxious mind is never easy but there are ways in which you can help. “I always go back to gratitude being a huge thing,” she continues. “Even for the roof over your head, for your health, it can be the small things or the big things you are thankful for.”

“Gratitude is very powerful for helping us to feel more at ease and to relieve stress or anxiety.”

“Remember, you've got to feel whatever you feel you feel. If you feel pissed off, you feel pissed off, but it’s about evolving from that as opposed to staying in that place. If you stay in that place, your defences are down, your immune system is going to be challenged and you’ll be low in energy. So trying to create and maintain some level of positive energy is essential to maintaining wellbeing.”

The Toxic Positivity Debate

There is a lot of pressure to have a bright outlook, even in 2020. To that end, the phrase ‘toxic positivity’ is everywhere, and trying to maintain an unnatural level of happy feelings is counter-productive, Fiona explains. Positivity takes work and that means allowing ourselves to feel the other side of that spectrum. “I'm a very positive person, but I've obviously worked on that – it hasn't just fallen into my lap. Toxic positivity is just that – toxic.”

“I think one of the most positive things we can do is allow ourselves to feel negative emotion. And take away the idea that negative emotion is bad. It’s not something bad or good. It's just an emotion. You’ve got to work with what you’re feeling – but not be defined by it. And that’s the difference in terms of being led by negative emotions or by positive ones, which can be toxic as well. You don’t always have to feel a certain way. That’s where the work comes in. Working on yourself and your mental health.”

Fiona says doing this takes training – and she offers a course which does this – and that, with work, it’s possible to alter your outlook. “It’s about programming your subconscious so that you start to feel calmer and more relaxed. And then you have space to choose how you're going to respond to any given situation. I call it the Move Out Technique, which is very helpful, if you can just imagine moving way above and looking at the situation in the greater scheme of things, it can give you some perspective. And just the knowledge of knowing it will pass. Because it will.”

Jennifer McShane, December 2020