It’s all gone a bit strange hasn’t it? Things feel strained and stressed. Here, a selection of the Heyday writers reveal how they cope, and detail the myriad little ways they find happiness in the here and now…

Ellie Balfe

I find that when things feel too big, as they do right now, the key to contentment is to keep it small. By that, I mean focussing on figuring out the next right step, and then, taking that step - and that step alone. I read once that when Queen Victoria was grieving her husband, she was so distraught she felt she wouldn’t survive the broken heart, yet she was aware of her responsibility as monarch, and the necessity of being able to fulfil that. So, her approach was to focus on her next meal. Getting to her next meal was how small she made her day. ‘If I can just get to lunchtime’, ‘if I can just get to dinner time’; that made her day manageable, and she could cope in those small increments of time.

The problems in this global pandemic are enormous; we can only look after ourselves and the people closest to us, we cannot possibly absorb the entire thing. We are all dangerously addicted to Twitter and the constant news updates, and we need to learn that this does not serve us. Being constantly informed in this way removes distance - we feel inherently involved in it, but it is a certain distance that we need in order to process and progress through hard times. So my suggestions to be happy? Put down the phone. Turn off your notifications. Tune in to the headlines once per evening at the 6pm news in order to be updated, but then, leave it at that. You don’t need the constant opinion on this pandemic, it only makes it feel worse. Focus on your own responsibility, follow through on that, and let it go a little (or a lot).

Get to dinner time, make food you like, light the fire, pour some wine, eat some chocolate, have a bath, light a candle, listen to music, re-read old books you’ve loved. Call your parents. Call your friends.

Your people will root and ground you, and you them. It’s all about your people. And while they may be distant. While they may be worried and scared too, just talk.
Sometimes, we can hold each other in ways other than physically.
So, do. So, try.

If we can just get to dinner time…

Marie Kelly

It’s all about the little things for me right now. It has to be because that’s all we’re left with in lockdown. Random conversations with other dog walkers in the park. Random acts of kindness performed for me and by me. Random phone interviews for work that evolve into chats full of warmth and common understandings. People have too much time and too few connections with others, but that’s proving to be a recipe for good. It means no opportunity to interact is taken for granted.

Dearbhla Kelly

Meaning and purpose are essential for happiness. It's less important what it is that gives your life (and these days during covid) meaning and imbues you with a sense of purpose than the fact that something does. Maybe it's running, or baking, or crosswords or learning a new language / reading a book but find something that makes you feel connected and tuned in.

Pleasure is essential for happiness. We need rewards to keep going when things are tough. Ideally, your pleasure source is one that is also good for you with the caveat that all things should be taken in moderation, even moderation.

“Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue…as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.” - Vicktor Frankl.

Syreeta Challinger

For me, it’s always been the little things that bring pure joy. Like feet touching in a spoons hug, the smell of laundry dried outside - god that smell is divine - especially after years of living in flats/abroad.

The biggest step to seeing the good and beauty in it all is acceptance. The anger, the rage, the disbelief, all come first, then I am not saying we give up, but surrounding to what we can’t control - that’s where the power is, that is where the joy comes from - there is room for it to exist.

I won’t deny I love a Pinterest daydream or browsing fancy dresses sometimes too, but in reality, it’s the little things for me. And simply being - not forcing not trying too hard at anything - just being. That’s how we get through this.

Yahaira L. Reyes

For me, it is a sense of purpose, letting things go when they don't serve me or those around me and taking leap after leap even while trembling in fear. I don't reject fear, I more or less circumvent it. Happiness is not really a stable feeling but accepting that fact gives me the serenity I wished I had in my 20s and 30s.

Jennifer Coyle

For me, it's playing my fave pop psychology game, Rose / Bud / Thorn. We did this (doggedly) over lockdown, over family dinner and continue the tradition now. It's a good way to air worries, share the wins and little victories and remind us that there's always something to look forward to.

This technique can be used for anything in life, from your relationship to your work, but in this case, we kept it very small and focused on the day/week ahead.

Typical family responses might be... My Rose is... we're having my favourite dinner tonight / on our walk, we saw a seal. My Thorn is... I missed going to my sports club like I usually do on a Tuesday /I'm worried about my grandpa. My Bud is... tomorrow we're going to FaceTime our family / having a picnic in the garden/ having a movie night.

For me, this helped me always keep perspective and look for the good things. It is grounding and always lifts my mood. There's always a Bud and a Rose, even when the Thorns are mighty big.

Jennifer Stevens

For me, at the moment, it's giving up my control and allowing myself to feel all my emotions. I have two very small kids, I'm working with about 10 hours childcare a week, my husband is out to work every day and for ages, I was barely getting by. Mick works in TV news so switching off is not something that really works in this house! But I've found that giving up has helped me immensely. I'm trying to be present with the kids when I have them alone.

I'm cramming my work into my childcare hours and doing one hour a night when they're in bed and a couple of hours on a Saturday and Sunday when their dad is here. I'm drinking wine when I want to, I'm eating what I want and not worrying about the Covid stone(s) and I'm trying to accept that this is what it is at the moment. It's all working for now. I was trying to write while the girls were in front of the TV, I was trying to eat really healthily, I was trying to plan Zoom quizzes and I've just let it all go. I'm in my bubble, everyone's doing their best and that's all it can be this year.

My attitude may change again in a couple of weeks but for now, this is it.

I'm not worried about what I'm reading, that I haven't listened to the latest podcast or that I haven't worn normal clothes in months. I've found that trying not to control anything is really freeing.

Ailbhe Lynch

Let go of the pressures of time, the what-ifs and the maybes and live in the moment. Now is the time to take each day as it comes with less projection and more presence. There has never been a better time to stop and feel the warmth of sun on your face or listen to the sound of the rain against your windows while wrapped up on that sofa you worked hard to buy. Be proud. Light the good candles, wear the perfume and make lists... playlists. Listen intently, sing loudly and dance like it’s the 1990s. Long live kitchen discos!

What moments of joy have you found in 2020? Tell us in the comments box below…