Hitting your Style Stride
5 minute read
It took me until my forties to really hit my style stride. I have always loved clothes, and if my credit card could talk, it would readily confess that. Yet it’s only in the last decade that I think I became stylish.
What is style? Style is different to fashion, for anyone can follow the herd and be fashionable. It’s one of those words that’s hard to define. It’s like fairy dust, impossible to catch and hold. For me, it’s the sweet spot of accepting and understanding my body, having a decent clothes budget, and figuring out my style signature.
My twenties were eclectic. Was I a rock chick, a vixen or a hippy? No-one knew, because neither did I. I had a fabulous figure, but I thought I was fat. Oh, if I could only port my forty-something brain into my twenty- something body! I’m sure many of you will smile in recognition. Like most twenty-somethings, I had little disposable income and most of my clothes were random sale purchases.
Most of my thirties were lost years spent in a fashion wilderness. I had a decent disposable income, but had gained weight, and didn’t want to buy any “forever” clothes until I lost it. Truth be told, I didn’t feel beautiful, and didn’t feel like I deserved nice things. In hindsight, I should have treated my body with the love and care it deserved. You don’t have to be thin to be stylish, but you do need to love yourself. And strangely, it was when I hit my late thirties, and started to love myself, that I lost weight.
Now, in my forties, I’m happy (ish) with my body, but most importantly, I understand it.
I have a slim waist, so I dress to accentuate it. My bum won’t get any second looks, but l can’t see it most of the time, so I don’t worry about it. You might be happy with your body, you might not. But if you are honest with yourself, you will recognise that you have something that is alluring and that you can dress to highlight.
I am blessed to finally have a modest budget just for clothes, and I now make considered purchases that I feel will last. This was a hard-won lesson for me. My younger self would splash out on party dresses but buy poor quality basics. If you spend more time at the school gates or the office than the dance floor, then you should be investing in your urban uniform of good basics, not sparkly tops.
But the real revelation? Hitting on my signature style statement. Your style statement is a word, phrase or sentence that sums up your style ethos: it signifies who you are, what makes you special, and it will be transformational in avoiding making purchases you will regret. It could be rock chic, sporty and comfortable, tailored and elegant, experimental and fashion forward …you get the idea.
One you have truly figured out your style statement, shopping becomes easy, wardrobe clear outs are a pleasure, and compliments will come flooding in.
My signature style statement is “colourful relaxed glamour”. Some items might be all three, but new purchases won’t make the cut unless they are at least one of them. My gold lurex t-shirt has endured through ten years of wardrobe culls because it encapsulates all three.
Colour, because black drains me, but mainly because colour has a profound psychological impact on my mood. There is something so life affirming about a bright yellow or pink. Also, many women complain that they become invisible in their midlife, overlooked for the bright young things in miniskirts and sparkles. I defy anyone to be overlooked in an orange dress!
What is relaxed glamour? I’m drawn to all things sparkly and dramatic, (perhaps that’s the Leo in my chart)…but the Sagittarius in me knows she is going to spill, so the compromise is simplicity with a little sprinkle of the unexpected. A Ganni or Kitri dress paired with runners, or jeans with a satin top, statement necklace and dalmatian sky-high ankle boots. It’s also no fuss and frills, and avoiding anything dry-clean where possible (who has the time or money? And note the aforementioned propensity to spill).
I’ve struggled with the concept of beauty for most of my life. But now that I am older, and a bit wiser, I realise I’d rather be stylish. Perhaps you can only truly find your style once you come to know yourself, and for me that took some time. Beautiful women have simply won life’s genetic lottery. Stylish women know themselves and aren’t afraid of self-expression.
Yves Saint Laurent once said, “fashion fades, but style is eternal”. I’d argue that beauty fades, but style endures. If I had to choose between being beautiful or stylish, I’d choose stylish every time.
Louise Slyth, January 2022
Relate?
Tell us more in the comments below…
join the conversation
share and comment below, we’d love to hear your thoughts…