A raw, dynamic talent, Hilda Fay is an acclaimed Irish actress, performing on both stage and screen for the past 28 years. Often performing on the boards of The Abbey Theatre, Ireland’s national theatre, as well as international stages, she was described as giving one of the most outstanding performances for her role in Plough and the Stars in Boston, 2016. In 2020, Hilda has recently wrapped a TV series with Apple, and was due to perform in Juno and the Paycock in Dublin this summer, before Covid closed it down. Here she tells us her story…

Which three adjectives describe you best?

Loyal, Curious, Passionate.

What is on your mind most these days?

I’m reading The Celestine Prophecy which is about our connection to nature and our energy fields. I'm thinking a lot about my energy, how to conserve it and who to give it to.

What is the last thing that you said no to?

I'm a mum to two beautiful little girls, Pearl and Nancy. I say no a lot. Today, for example, I said no to an Apple Mac.

What is the last thing you said yes to?

I let my little girl Pearl go to the local shopping centre on her own with her friend. That was a big one for me. She is growing up and as much as I hate that, I have to nurture her confidence and independence.

What made you decide to do what you are now doing in your life?

It's an interesting profession, it's ever-changing, you never know what lies around the corner. I don’t think I ever made a decision to be an actor. I tried to do something else lots of times but it lured me back with interesting opportunities.

How many things have you been in your life so far?

Daughter, Grandchild, Sister, Dancer, Receptionist, Actor, Soap Star, Business owner, Wife, Friend, Mum, Producer.

Where do you come in your family, and did this have any influence on you?

I'm from a family of five; one brother and three sisters. I am second-last. This had a huge impact on my personality looking back. I was in a family of strong personalities and three much older siblings. I was very quiet, anxious and an introvert so it's no surprise acting became a way of expressing myself.

Are you where you wanted to be at this stage in your life?

I feel very content and happy with where I've landed at this stage. Ultimately family is the most important thing to me and to have a family to carve out my future with is so fulfilling. My hopes and dreams are entwined with theirs. I also feel blessed that at 46 I feel my career is becoming more varied and interesting doors are opening for me.

What is the best, and worst piece of advice you have received in your life so far?

The best piece of advice is ‘lead by example’. If you want to show your kids the path to take, try and be your best self and hopefully they will improve on your example. The worst piece of advice was to let my roots grow out!

What does midlife feel like to you?

It doesn’t feel like midlife, it feels like the start of my life. I feel hopeful for the future. I feel wiser, stiller, calmer – I have no expectations. I feel grateful and more grounded. My children have been huge blessings in my life and my biggest teachers.

Is there something you have dreamt of doing for a long time? What is it? Are you going to do it?

I dream of learning the piano to a high level. I keep having false starts then a job comes along and I obsess about that and forget about learning. I'm fully committed to the idea that I will accomplish this someday soon.

Has there been a place, event, or experience that has transformed your ideas and given you a new perspective?

I always wanted to live in New York. I did it for a summer and then came home. I realised when I went there, you take yourself with you, and you can't run away from yourself. I also realised my profession wasn’t everything to me and being in Ireland with my family was something that mattered to me. I didn’t want to sacrifice everything.

What is something you love now, that you couldn’t imagine you would like in the past?

My vegetable patch. It's an absolute miracle that I'm learning to grow veg. I LOVE it, it makes me so happy. Twenty years ago I would have laughed at the idea. The good life!

Is there a milestone you are working towards in your personal or professional life at the moment?

No milestone, but hopefully more great films and characters to explore. I want to keep working with people at the top of their game so I can raise my game. I want to be challenged and explore characters that stretch me and excite me. I want to live to see my grandchildren and would love my parents to see me play Juno in Juno and the Paycock which I was due to play in The Olympia before COVID hit.

How do you think the world of work can improve for women?

One can always improve working conditions in every sector. It’s a broad question and needs a stand-alone interview. I think men fight for what they want and it’s a natural instinct innate in them. When we learn to use our voices in the same way, it will be heard. The loudest voice always seems to get heard regardless of gender.

What do you spend too much time doing? And what do you spend too little doing?

I spend too much time cleaning and too little time on ‘me time.’

How do you care for your own wellbeing?

I don’t smoke, I don’t drink. I do weights twice a week, I cycle. I try to meditate as much as I can and I try to surround myself with positive genuine people who make me laugh. Also, I embrace the lazy life too. It's very underrated.

What do you feel free of now that you are at this life stage?

I feel free from caring about what people think of me. I always felt the need to please people or be liked. I don’t care about that stuff so much anymore. What you think of me is not my concern.

What gives you the most stress at this life stage?

Dealing with people who pretend to know what they are doing, spoofers and bullshitters. It’s a tricky one but it's very stressful when you feel a ship is sinking.

Do you sleep well?

I am a brilliant sleeper. I love a good nine hours. Does it make me more beautiful unfortunately not!

What advice would you offer to yourself in your 20’s, 30’s and 40’s?

20’s: Travel more don’t be afraid

30’s: Enjoy the kids more, they will grow up too soon.

40’s: Lay off the chocolate.

Did you ever feel lost in your life path? How did you find your way again?

I was completely lost from 14 to 19 in secondary school. I was so unsure of myself and the path I was taking, being accepted by friends; that feeling of being out of my depth with people I didn’t really fit in with. Finding my tribe took me some time. Girlfriends are hugely important to me and having a loyal group of girls I love around me means everything.

What do you love about yourself?

That’s a hard one, it's not really an Irish trait to blow one's own trumpet. I like to make people laugh. I'm very self-deprecating and if it gives someone else a laugh then all the better. I can be very wicked and also like to give myself a laugh. I hate being PC all the time and love to say things that might evoke a raised eyebrow. I love a reaction. I also love the way I'm always on time. I hope I haven’t jinxed myself there, but generally, I am a good timekeeper.

When do you feel truly alive?

I feel truly alive after a good workout or when I have been in the sea or when I say something completely outrageous which happens to be the truth.

What do you consider your biggest achievement?

Hands down having my own property before I met my husband. Isn't that terrible? I'm so competitive! Ah, no, the correct thing to say is, of course, my two children. They are my biggest achievement because being a mother has been the most grounding, rewarding role of my life – the fact I have kept them alive is award-winning stuff!

What was a major turning point in your life?

I don’t think there has been a major turning point. I would feel safe to say it's been an up and down trajectory to get me to where I've landed. I have always known what I'm good at, what I wanted to achieve, who I want to surround myself with and where I'm going. Life is so fragile and I consider myself to be very blessed with my own unique mindset and the people I’ve lost and loved along the way.

What are you looking forward to in the coming months?

I am looking forward to starting a film hopefully in September called Let the Wrong One In. And starting a documentary about my parents. I'm looking forward to going to Tayto park with my kids and getting the kids back to school. Starting a course in film production, as well as growing my vegetable patch and having a few lazy days.

Are you a good friend?

I'm a loyal friend. If I'm your friend you have a friend for life. I show up.

What in life is beautiful to you? Where do you find inspiration?

Sea, grass, flowers, sky, mountains, animals, wind, rain, thunder, lighting. I find inspiration in nature; in the complexities and enormity of the grand scale of this universe, we live in. We are so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It's so humbling knowing we are just tiny dots.

Any regrets?

Not many but yes, some, and I have found my peace with that.

Knowing what you know now, what is most important in life?

To love in all its forms.

What makes you feel at home?

A cup of tea and a good book, my slippers, Netflix and don’t forget a nice Cadburys Cream Egg!

Favourite book, and why?

Shantaram by Gregory Roberts. It is of epic proportions and deals with themes of love and families and strength. It immerses you in one of the world's greatest cities in India with lots of heart and adventure.

Favourite piece of music, and why?

Amelie. It brings me to a happy time in my life roaming around New York.

Last time you cried (tears of joy count!)

I cried at my nephew's football match. It was a fabulous draw. Go the KK! I love a good cry. I have very talented tear ducts and love to indulge.

How do you draw on your own inner strength?

I pray. Sometimes in dark times, I find myself waking up in prayer.

What are your feelings about this new world we find ourselves in now?

I am waiting and hoping for everything to go back to normal. I feel the chaos of change and uncertainty all around me. It's frightening. People's livelihoods and worlds have been decimated. We are treading on eggshells and can only follow the guidelines that have been set for us. It reminds me of how fragile we are and how little control we really do have.

How easy is it for you to access your creative energy during the pandemic?

It’s come in short waves and not at all. I have done lots of courses online. I love learning and growing and it has been an incredible time to access online material as so many wonderful institutions have been so generous.

Photography: Lorna Fitzsimons
Styling: Jan Brierton
Hair: Jacqui Fay
Makeup: Stephen Price