5 minute read

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the less makeup I want to wear. Or, actually, no - it’s that the older I get, the less makeup looks good on me. Or so I feel.

And over the last few years, I have, like any women interested in beauty products, spent time scrolling through influencer’s feeds and reading the beauty writers I rate (Sali Hughes, Sarah Halliwell and Laura Kennedy) in order to glean expertise from their exposure to it all. I’ve written here before about my background, of being both a professional makeup artist and beauty editor at a glossy magazine for years, so I won’t tire you with the info again, but suffice to say, I do know what works. And I can sniff marketing hype from many miles away.

I have worn MAC Face & Body for more years than I care to mention, continually returning to its watery, sheer consistency as it makes my skin look my skin. But the new is calling me too. And I don’t know about you, but throughout the lockdowns, I bought more than my fair share of beauty products - way more than I needed certainly, for all I did last year was sit in my house and walk and swim - not exactly activities requiring me to put my best face forward. But what harm, I enjoyed it. I am a beauty advocate. I rate the ritual of looking after yourself. And in contrast to that, as I am a bundle of contradictions too, I have loved seeing myself makeup-free and grey-haired - it’s been liberating.

I have been intrigued too by the conversation on social media about ‘filter-free faces’. Síle Seoige has spoken of it at length, and she and I have been in DM discussions about it as it’s so fascinating to us both. The argument that states that using filters to ‘improve’ your appearance on social is damaging to self-esteem is a strong one. Especially to young girls and women, whose self-image is, unfortunately, at present so tied up with self-worth.

We can cry “but it shouldn’t be so!” and talk of how women are so much more than their reflection - how they are sublime, supreme beings in every room - even rooms with no mirrors - but right now, we have to accept that their image matters to them. And we need to meet them where they are. And they are using filters to feel good about themselves - to fit in and feel cute. It’s tribal and it’s nigh-on impenetrable.

Perhaps if they see us elder lemons doing as we please, wearing makeup and dyeing our hair - but only if we want to - in the way we want to, for our own damn selves - then, perhaps that lays a path, but right now it’s complicated. The ever-rotating conversation asks if makeup is the same sort of artiface, for isn’t it also a filter - designed to improve and disguise - to look good, feel better and all that. And yes, at its basic level it is.

The issue with filters is self-esteem and self-worth. If they are robust, then filters are fun. If they are delicate and sometimes absent, then filters are armour.

The issue after that is dependency, and if, when looking at oneself in real life before you go out in that mirror in the hall with the really crap light, will that taint your experience and confidence as you progress through your day - with only that shadowy image of yourself in the mind’s eye.

I get it. I think we all do. I think we’ve all been that soldier if we’re honest.

I don’t like to think that when my daughters start to use social media they will feel that they have to adapt their appearance to conform to ridiculous standards of whatever is perceived to be beautiful at that time. Even the benign stuff bothers me in the context of them - the bunny ears reek of Hugh Hefner’s legacy, the cutesy, freckled bunny nose stuff makes me think uncomfortable thoughts of grown men with a taste for the young. It’s too much for me when I think about my daughters partaking in it, but for me, if I’m having a day where I am tired and flat, sometimes the Paris filter or even some butterflies and tilted up eyelashes will make me feel better as I talk about what’s on my mind that day.

You see? Contradictions, again. One rule for me, another for them. But no - the point is, they are young and not fully formed. My self-esteem and self-worth, whilst not exemplary, is ok. I’m good with the greys and the shadows. I’m ok with my skin and its sunspots. And the number on the scales, whilst a bit high for right now, is workable with. I’ll ramp up the yoga. I’m ok with myself.

I don’t know the solution to our young people’s use of social media’s manipulation, all I know is we must build them up from the inside out and not have them rely on digital manipulation and filters for validation. Instead, we must validate them everywhere - at home, at school - everywhere. So, when they use screens they feel complete already. And then filters can be fun stuff, not something that’s hurtful.

And in terms of makeup, I will be encouraging my particular young women to find products that don’t mask their loveliness, something sheer, something glowy, something subtle and skinlike (with plenty of SPF!). Similar in fact, to what I am looking at for myself, which in turn means, by the natural order of teenagers and mothers, they will not listen to a word of it! And that will be what it will be.

They might not care for my wisdom - on life or on beauty. A map is a mere guide, a suggestion at best. They’ll take upon the path or, simply they won’t, and isn’t that the whole point of parenting teens - giving them guidance, but giving them room. Giving them agency.

And with all that said, just in case you were looking for a filter-free face too, I will leave you with three of the best bases I’ve bought lately which I am rotating gleefully, and I will see you later on Stories, most probably from behind the Paris filter!

NARS Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturiser

Glowy, with medium pigment and medium/light coverage, SPF 30. The shades are quite yellow, but flexible to blend. I read India Knight raving about it so followed suit and bought it. She claimed it makes skin look “like a thing of great natural beauty.” She’s right, it does. Buy it here.

Chanel Les Beiges Eau de Teint

Expensive, but excellent. In fact, perhaps the best natural skin product you’ll find. It adds soft colour and veil of coverage - the ultimate no-makeup makeup that looks just like healthy, glowy, holiday skin. You’ll be hooked, I am sure of it. Buy it here.

Tint & Glow from Sculpted by Aimee

Brand new to the market from Irish makeup artist Aimee Connolly, Tint & Glow might be the product that is the final nail in the coffin for all that awful full-coverage complexion trend we’ve seen in recent years. She has the reach, relationships and savvy on social media to influence beauty in a really good way. I was very impressed with its look and feel and whilst appearing very millennial focussed, hers is a brand that midlifers will love. Buy it here.