The Side-Eye on virtue signalling

If I had a euro for every high-minded disapproving post about the queues for Penney’s reopening… then I’d have enough to queue up at BT’s to buy myself something fancy. We’re all lockdown-maddened, nerve-jangled, root-showing, grey-haired and short-tempered right now. We’re all worried about our jobs, the economy and the creeping realisation that even the elastic waists are starting to pinch. But in all the worry, from the tiny irritations to the full-scale global outrages, we are also quick to assume that others’ motives might be less virtuous than our own.

It’s hard to keep a steady personal compass at this strange time. Every day brings a barrage of news about tragic deaths, horrific killings and appalling discrimination. We nervously backing away from the vitriolic online arguments about trans people, social distancing, blackface comedy and yes, the queues outside Penneys and Sports Direct and McDonalds. They should all be at home under lock and key, we haven’t left the house in months. They’re careless and thoughtless and we’re doggedly toeing the line, thinking of the greater good and making sourdough (again). We are quick to judge and keen to virtue signal.

Although today the way in which we share our feelings is via some rapid comments, pointed unfollowing and disapproving-face emoji-sprinkling, it’s fundamentally the same the arm-folded bitching over the back fence of old. You can bet that the hunter-gatherers thought very little of the immoral neighbouring tribe and that medieval peasant women didn’t hold off on the accusations of witchcraft when someone fell out of favour. Pointing a (latex gloved) finger at the queues outside JD Sports and preaching about the wonders of online shopping and recycled trainers made out of milk bottle tops is just the 2020 manifestation.

As you add the organic milk to your online shopping basket, bear in mind that not everyone has a credit or debit card and needs to go out to shop. Consider that if you haven’t seen your kids properly in the last few months, then maybe a trip to Maccy D’s is the tonic that you all need to celebrate the creeping return to some kind of normal contact situation.

If your children have dared to grow during lockdown (no, I’m not talking the intellectual leaps that little Naoise has made in her Mandarin), then maybe consider that they really do need some new clothes, and Penney’s is an affordable option which doesn’t offer online shopping. If your neighbour isn’t out on the doorstep banging a saucepan to recognise key workers, maybe they’re having a bad day, not an all-consuming Netflix binge.

Instead of being an irresponsible citizen, could it be that the woman queuing up for Zara lives alone and is desperate to get out and do something normal, like pick up a new top for her first non-Zoom date this weekend?

If your relationship is strained and your home has been more of a prison than a sanctuary recently, then fair play if walking down Grafton Street is the escape that you need. Forgive those who don’t choose to stay at home and make inroads into that pile of literature by writers of colour when the sun is out and they haven’t seen their mother for the usual Thursday mooch around town in months.

Of course, there are risks. There’s no doubt that retreating fully from the world and waving pitchforks from our fortresses is the best way to keep our lives small and safe. But if others choose to behave differently, to venture out and make decisions that may simultaneously greatly enrich and slightly endanger their lives, then stop and think before you judge. Their circumstances, their personal equilibrium between mental health and physical risk are unknown to you. Assume that you don’t know their story before you don your judgy pants. Try to think about all the reasons that explain their actions that may not be obvious to you.

And above all, be kind.

Jennifer Coyle, June 2020.