A woman of many facets, Amanda Byram’s passion and drive led her to an extremely successful career, both here, in London and in Hollywood. She manifested her dreams from a young age, and saw to it that they became her reality – all while utterly staying true to herself. Here, she shares wise words of wisdom on forgoing labels, living with integrity and why she is exactly where she needs to be in her life now.

WHICH THREE ADJECTIVES DESCRIBE YOU BEST?

Passionate, caring and fun.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND MOST THESE DAYS?

The state of the planet really affects me, because daily I see the overuse of plastic and pollution in ways we have never experienced before. Climate change is extremely concerning and as much as I try to be effective in my own day-to-day, it is simply not enough, we all have to do this together.

WHAT IS THE LAST THING THAT YOU SAID NO TO?

Doing an interview with someone who has not been particularly kind to me in the past. I want to live life with integrity and being in an uncomfortable situation and pretending to be comfortable is not how I want to live my life. Being excited about speaking to someone is more important to me than getting publicity.

WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU SAID YES TO?

Moving out of London! My husband is from Hove and has been trying to get me to move there since we met, and so now we are going to give it a go. A change is as good as a rest as they say!

WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO DO WHAT YOU ARE NOW DOING IN YOUR LIFE?

Passion and dreams! I have always wanted to be an actress or a TV host. From a very young age, I wanted to live in Hollywood and I manifested that as a little girl. When I finally made it to Hollywood, I recalled a vivid visualisation I had when I was about 10, driving in a white convertible down a motorway and seeing a big sign. The day I realised this had come to fruition, I was driving in an old Mercedes white convertible on my way to the studio via the 405 freeway and looked up and saw the Hollywood sign!

HOW MANY THINGS HAVE YOU BEEN IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR?

I love the idea of having a CV of Life. We humans love to put each other in boxes and tick them off, it is easier for our brains to assimilate and compartmentalise. I don’t believe in labels, titles or definitions anymore as they can be very divisive and dangerous. So, I don’t really see myself as a ‘TV Host’, an ‘author’, a ‘PT’, a ‘Journalist’, I am whatever I want to be on that day! But for the purposes of this answer here goes!

1. Student of Visual Communications
2. Model
3. TV Host
4. Travel journalist
5. PT/nutrition coach
6. Designer and CEO of leisurewear range Body By Byram
7. Author of self-help book.
8. Now.. I am all of the above…and more!

WHERE DO YOU COME IN YOUR FAMILY, AND DID THIS HAVE ANY INFLUENCE ON YOU?

I am the youngest of two daughters and there was a lot of sibling rivalry between my sister Natasha and I growing up. To boot, I always perceived that she was better than me; after all, she got better grades in school, could sing and play guitar and always beat me when we went for castings (it didn’t help my internal narrative that we were both models and went for the same jobs!!) So I definitely felt a strong drive to prove myself and I wanted to excel in something by myself.

When it came to TV presenting, I felt like I had truly found the thing I was really good at. We are really close and I was and am still so in awe of her talent and I believe I learned so much from her. She’s now an incredible mother of FOUR kids and so I still look up to her, and instead of being jealous or driven by her successes I now have my own personal triumphs that make me happy.

ARE YOU WHERE YOU WANTED TO BE AT THIS STAGE IN YOUR LIFE?

I have learned that expectations are the ruination of joy, and they only serve to take you out of the moment that you are in and prepare for a future that does not yet exist. So, whereas years ago I would have been a huge planner, that just ended up in constant let downs when things didn’t go “according to plan”. Now I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at any given moment in time. And I don’t wish for anything that should have or could have been, because the NOW is my reality.

WHAT IS THE BEST, AND WORST PIECE OF ADVICE YOU HAVE RECEIVED IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR?

Best: Eat carbs

Worst: Use baby oil to get a tan

WHAT DOES MIDLIFE FEEL LIKE TO YOU?

I don’t feel as though I have even reached mid-life yet as my goal is to live well into my 100’s! With that said, I am in the traditional sense – middle-aged, and I will be honest, I feel healthier, stronger, fitter, calmer and happier now than I ever did in my 20’s. In particular, I feel mentally healthy and by default, everything else falls into place.

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU HAVE DREAMT OF DOING FOR A LONG TIME?

I had dreamed of having my own activewear range, my own book and they have happened, so next is my own podcast and perhaps a move to Australia in a few years. Who knows!

HAS THERE BEEN A PLACE, EVENT, OR EXPERIENCE THAT HAS TRANSFORMED YOU OR GIVEN YOU A NEW PERSPECTIVE?

Yes, I filmed a TV show in New Zealand when I was single and it was an utterly mind-blowing experience. The country is so incredible and during the trip, I recall thinking, ‘its a shame I don’t have a partner to share this with’. Then the show wrapped and I decided to take myself off to the ‘Sounds’ which are the most incredible fjords and while there we spotted a family of whales who swam right up to the boat. As I went to my default thought; ' I wish I could share this moment with someone’, I realised that actually even if someone was with me, it wouldn’t make a difference, because that was MY experience to cherish. And from then on I relished in my own company and really became happy in my own company and being alone was really OK.

PEOPLE TALK A LOT ABOUT PIVOTING THESE DAYS, OF ALL THE 'SWITCHES' YOU'VE MADE OR RECOMMEND, WHICH HAS BEEN THE MOST POWERFUL CHANGE FOR YOU PERSONALLY?

Switching the narrative – how we speak to ourselves is a powerful tool. I use NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to switch the way I speak to myself and how I react and respond to others. For example how often have you muttered the words: ‘I’m so clumsy’ ‘I’m so stupid’ ‘I can’t believe I just did that’, ‘I’m so fat right now’, ‘I’m so lazy’ ‘I’m a bad mother’? All of these negative phrases are very destructive and over time can really damage our self-worth. Now I speak much more kindly to myself, and if someone is kind enough to pay me a compliment I accept it, rather than swat it away with lightning speed, because rejecting it reinforces that you do not think you are worthy of praise.

HOW DO YOU THINK THE WORLD OF WORK CAN IMPROVE FOR WOMEN?

I think that women are magnificent and we can put our minds to anything we set them to. We have to keep being resilient and fighting for what is right for us in each individual situation because everyone has different experiences. What I think is more important, is women supporting women across the board, rather than taking each other down (i.e. on social media) I see this a lot and it breaks my heart. Together we can make a difference.

WHAT DO YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME DOING? AND WHAT DO YOU SPEND TOO LITTLE DOING?

Too much time procrastinating about tiny things.

Not enough time dancing.

HOW DO YOU CARE FOR YOUR OWN WELLBEING?

I am very mindful about not taking on other people's energy anymore. I used to take on a lot of negative energy. Especially in a world where invisible faces become loud voices (social media) and it is too easy to allow others negativity to flood our consciousness. I have made very big strides towards not allowing negative comments into my world, the ‘delete’ and ‘block’ buttons are empowering. I have eliminated what I call ‘Sappers’ from my life now (those who sap your energy with their negativity) and surround myself with ‘Zappers’ (those who zap you with good vibes!)

WHAT DO YOU FEEL FREE OF NOW THAT YOU ARE AT THIS LIFE STAGE?

Expectations! If you are the author of your own story, why not write one that is free of expectations? Enjoy the outcome, no matter what. I have learned the hard way that things do not happen immediately – they happen slowly and surely. When we set our expectations too high, impatience is sure to follow. We live in a society where everything is available right now. And in turn, this fuels our desire and hunger to have everything we want readily available. We want the quick-fix for everything, we expect the most from those around us, and ourselves. If we can just live a life free of expectations then everything is a joy, a surprise and a gift.

WHAT GIVES YOU THE MOST STRESS AT THIS LIFE STAGE?

The word stress! I learned through NLP that the word stress itself is stressful. So I tend to try to avoid it and switch it for more fun words, like ‘funky’, or ‘squashy’. Once you relieve yourself of the word, then it becomes easier to be calm. Things that make me feel a little funky are climate change because I am passionate about the environment and it breaks my heart to see how humans are affecting the only planet we have.

DO YOU SLEEP WELL?

My husband often refers to my sleeping habits as ‘The Odin Sleep’ (If you watch the Marvel movies, you will know what the ‘Odin Sleep’ is!!) I sleep very well and I sleep very deeply! I love my sleep so much, I see it as my body’s time to rest and heal and get ready for a whopping productive day ahead!

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU OFFER TO YOURSELF IN YOUR 20’S, 30’S AND 40’S?

In my 20’s I would have advised myself that 'perfect' doesn't exist, and that food is a gift to my miraculous body, to not deprive myself of anything (especially entire food groups) and to speak kindly to myself and respect myself as I would a little child. Also to wear more sunscreen. I would probably tell her to drink a little less too, and to stop smoking ASAP.

I would tell my 30-year-old self to keep traveling and enjoying life, and that ‘finding the one’ is not what life is about. To embrace being single and enjoying finding out who you really are.

And since I am now in my 40s I would say well done on teaching yourself how to be happy and calm and live a life full of integrity, keep doing what you’re doing, because you got this!

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF?

My resilience, my ability to learn, my strength both physically and emotionally, my passion, my drive for learning new things and my body; which is a glorious biological machine that is capable of so many mind-blowing things.

WHEN DO YOU FEEL TRULY ALIVE?

In my cold shower every morning. I have introduced this into my daily routine because it’s fantastic for your mental wellbeing, immune system and prolongs health-span.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT?

To name one would be to put the others in the shade. I am a big believer in championing all our successes from the small to the big! Each achievement is the biggest, until the next one. Right now I am enjoying the moment that I am a published author!

WHAT WAS A MAJOR TURNING POINT IN YOUR LIFE?

Cancelling a wedding with a month to go before the big day. It took a lot of strength and left me suffering from depression for a time afterwards because I felt like I had failed. However, once the dust had settled I realised that actually, it was the bravest thing I had ever done, and in turn, became a reason to live my life with integrity… now I always ask ‘what do I want’ and ‘what do I need’ first because my happiness has to come before I can make anyone else happy.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Hugging my parents at Christmas. I plan to fly to the West of Ireland to isolate for 2 weeks before seeing them in Dublin. I will not have seen them for almost a year at that stage. The longest I have gone without a hug from them!

ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND?

Yes, I believe so. I try to be available emotionally if I cannot be available physically. It’s hard when you have friends with little ones and who live on the other side of the world, so I try to always be there when I am needed if not in person then virtually.

WHAT IN LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL TO YOU? WHERE DO YOU FIND INSPIRATION?

The Universe. I love how vast and infinite it is. I love its power and its magic and how it always conspires to help you.

ANY REGRETS?

I try not to have regrets because everything we have done before takes us to where we are now. If I could change anything it would be to have educated my young self about food, the body and mindfulness.

KNOWING WHAT YOU KNOW NOW, WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?

Being healthy.

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL AT HOME?

Slippers, a box set, my family.

FAVOURITE BOOK, AND WHY?

‘The Alchemist’ by Paolo Coelho. It is a beautiful parable about life told through a story of a young Shepard called Santiago, living in the hills of Andalusia who goes in search of his ‘treasure’. The underlying message is that the Universe has your back so listen to your heart, read the omens strewn along life's path and, above all, follow your dreams. It strikes me in a different way every time I read it and I’ve read it 5 times!

FAVOURITE PIECE OF MUSIC, AND WHY?

I love all of Hans Zimmer's music. In particular the song ‘Now We Are Free’ by Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard from the movie Gladiator. It is the song I walked up the aisle to!

LAST TIME YOU CRIED (TEARS OF JOY COUNT!)

My husband surprised me with a vow renewal ceremony in July when we were at The Body Camp in Mallorca. It was beautiful!

WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS ON THIS NEW WORLD WE FIND OURSELVES IN NOW?

All the while my family are safe and well, I have to be grateful that we are all OK. I know the easy option is to be frustrated and angry, however, we cannot affect the situation so we just have to accept and adapt, whatever that may mean to each of us individually. We must take some positives where we can, and roll with the punches. Life is unpredictable and so being able to handle the change is what is most important.

YOU'RE AN AUTHOR NOW! WHAT ELSE IS ON THE BUCKET LIST?

It’s a wonderful feeling! I would love a podcast and also thinking about the next book already! With that said, I used to jump from one goal to the next without taking a moment to enjoy and celebrate the success of the last achievement. So for now I am content just enjoying the moment and that for me is being a first-time author and being able to help people on their own Switch journey.